From Reflecting To Action, Here Are 4 Things Men Do When They Know Their Wife's Infidelity

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JAKARTA - Despite all the efforts made to forget your wife's infidelity, is it still difficult for you to move on and get out of pain? Does your inability to get over your wife's infidelity make you wonder if the best thing to do is just sit back and hope that things will pass with time?

Of course, this is not the best thing to do if you want to be completely healed. Emotionally strong men finally realize that they need to face problems head-on.

Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to figure out what the next steps are in dealing with a cheating wife. Launching Yourtango, Tuesday, January 25, the following is his presentation.

Decide what you want

When dealing with your wife's infidelity, it's important to identify the "why" and "what" you want, so that you can set goals and your efforts are not wasted. Without a goal, action will be more difficult.

If you can forgive your wife's infidelity because you still want to stay together and live happily ever after, then you need therapy.

If you want to forget your wife's infidelity for the sake of the children, therapy is still needed to help you and your wife manage the effects of the affair on the children.

If you want to get over your wife's infidelity so you can move on with your life without feeling bad, then that's another act that involves you doing what needs to be done to make it happen.

There may not be just one outcome you want, but choose the one that feels most soothing. It may be challenging but you can do it.

Tell the wife what you want

Once you've decided what you want, it's important that you share it with your partner. Even if you're still struggling with what you want, tell him that you want to focus on your goals.

Why? Because it is important to know that you are on the same page before taking the next step. If you want to stay together and be happy but he doesn't, you can decide whether you want to try it or not.

If you want to get out and he doesn't, then at least he knows what you want and he can decide if he wants to make the effort to end the marriage in a way that will help you and him heal.

Whatever you want, it is important for you and your wife to know what business is being done. How good it feels for you to be on the road to release. Whatever the outcome, this is certainly better than standing still and not sure what steps to take next.

Honest

Have you been honest with your partner about how you feel about what happened? Instead of telling their partners how they feel about infidelity, many husbands choose to remain silent and imagine scenarios that may or may not be based on the story.

Perhaps, you are acting like everything is fine. That the affair is over and you are okay with it and you want to move on with life even if it is a lie.

Or, perhaps, you want more than anything to talk about it but you've given your wife the silent treatment for fear of what the words might say.

If you're not being honest with yourself or your partner about how you feel, then there's no way you can get over your wife's infidelity. Suppressing feelings will only lead to more anger.

Take action

For some time, you may be in a state of shock, anger, sadness, guilt, perhaps self-blame, fear, and depression. And at the same time, every effort is made to ward off disappointments such as the consumption of alcohol. Although this can relieve the pain, unfortunately it will not help you to let go of your wife's infidelity.

Now is the time to change that. Instead of being stuck in the dark, imagine how it would feel if you started moving on towards the life you want.

Imagine doing work, with or without a wife to shake off past feelings that have been holding you back, towards a future where you don't spend every moment thinking about your wife's infidelity. Wouldn't that be more of a relief?

So, get up and take action. Work to identify, now, what you want, and then take a step toward it, even a small step. A small step is better than nothing.