Keep It Up If You Have A Friend Who Does These 3 Things, He's A Good Listener

Illustration of what a good listener looks like (Unsplash/Antonio Vasalli)

JAKARTA – Having friends as a support system that makes life more quality, of course, is wanted by many people. Especially when you need a friend to tell stories without dropping the impression but on the contrary, providing encouragement to build a better mood.

Friends as good listeners are not easy to get. If you have it, of course you have skills that not many people have. Justin Kompf, Ph.D., researcher at the Lifespan Developmental Psychology Laboratory, reveals that a good listener has things that make other people, especially those closest to him feel better. What does a good listener do? Here is Kompf's explanation and identification from his experience.

1. Give a chance for friends to tell stories

Some say, interacting in silence is very intimate. A good listener knows very well the other person needs silence in order to be able to say more about the topic in the conversation.

According to Kompf, there is a boisterous situation that annoys a person. At the very least, your friend with the ability to be a good listener will give you space to open a conversation or even give you a chance to tell your vulnerable side without being criticized.

Kompf adds, silence can give people a chance to say what they mean. Even though it's awkward at first, it's the only way to give yourself a chance to describe how you're feeling. It turns out that this situation builds trust, you know.

2. Focus on the meaning of words

Kompf identified the qualities of a good listener from his psychologist. His psychologist had skills that made him feel better after a few problems. Second, a good listener will focus on the meaning of the words spoken by the other person.

Generally, good listeners will respond with reflective statements. The reflective statement is a sign that he understands and listens to the words well.

3. The questions asked are open-ended

Open-ended questions are used by a good listener as an invitation to discussion. These questions are asked to explore points of view and provide attention. They will not answer 'yes' or 'no'. Open-ended questions, eg 'how was your day?' or 'can you tell me about the best part of your day?'.

A friend with the three abilities above, may not explicitly have these skills. But the goal is definite, to make you feel better.