Losing Sex Drive After Giving Birth, Is It Normal?

Illustration of a woman after giving birth (Photo: Freepik/jcomp)

JAKARTA - For many couples, sexual intercourse is important for intimacy. However, losing passion after giving birth is common. According to the NHS, major changes such as pregnancy and childbirth can affect libido.

Reality TV star and fitness trainer Holly Hagan-Blyth admitted to experiencing this after giving birth to her son, Alpha-Jax, in 2023.

"I could have said, 'if you don't touch me again, I don't mind', because that's how I felt at the time," said Holly, quoted from the BBC website.

He began to avoid intimacy because he was afraid that every touch would lead to sex.

"Many mothers think they should get back to being intimate after the six-week postnatal check, but that's not always true," says sex and relationship therapist Rachel Gold.

Holly found a solution by being open with her husband.

"As soon as I said, 'when I hug or touch you, can we not go on to the next thing?', everything got better because the pressure was gone," he explained.

Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, an obstetrician and gynecologist, explains that many physical factors affect passion after childbirth.

"The uterus takes about six weeks to return to its pre-pregnancy size. Wounds in the vagina or perineum are also healing," he explained.

Hormonal changes also play a role. "Estrogen and progesterone levels drop drastically. Low estrogen can make the vagina dry, so sex feels painful. A few days after giving birth, hormonal changes are actually more extreme than menopause," continued Dr. Jennifer.

Loss of sexual desire can also happen to men. Frankie, a mother who had just given birth three months ago.

"My partner doesn't want to have sex anymore, even though I want to be more cared for. I feel trapped," said Frankie.

Rachel Gold added, "Being a father can bring up a variety of emotions that make men reluctant to have sex. Talking honestly with your partner is very helpful; don't assume they know what's going on. "

Tips to Start Sexual Life Again

1. Normalize the loss of passion. Realize that this is normal.

2. Give time for the body to recover. Be patient with the recovery process.

3. Open communication. Communicate your needs and limitations with your partner.

4. Focus on non-sexual intimacy. Touch, hugs, or emotional communication can be a bridge.

5. For household and child responsibilities. Reducing stress helps emotional closeness.

"Some new parents adjust easily because intimacy will return naturally. If this causes serious conflict, professional help such as counseling, sex therapy, or medical evaluation is highly recommended." said Dr. Jennifer.