Is It True That Pornography Threatens Marriage Harmony? This Is The Fact

Illustration of couples affected by pornography. (Freepic)

JAKARTA - Pornography is a topic that is increasingly being discussed in the life of marriage. Easy internet access, private nature, and almost without restrictions makes pornography much closer to everyday life than decades ago. But the question remains the same and crucial, is pornography really damaging to marriage?

Various studies show the answer is not as simple as yes or not. The impact of pornography is highly dependent on the frequency of use, openness between partners, and the quality of the relationship itself. Even so, many studies have found that pornography often has more negative impacts than the benefits of marriage.

A number of international studies have found that the use of pornography is closely related to the decline in the quality of marriage relations and stability. The study published in the 2020 Journal of Sex Research notes that more than 90% of men and about 60% of women have consumed pornography in the past month. This figure shows that pornography is no longer a suburban phenomenon, but part of the current social reality. But other research shows its dark side.

The use of pornography, especially if done regularly and secretly, is proven to correlate with a decrease in marriage satisfaction, reduced emotional intimacy, and increased conflict in relationships. In fact, a number of studies have stated that pornographic consumption is one of the strong predictors of divorce.

One of the most significant impacts of pornography in marriage is the destruction of trust. Many couples do not openly talk about this habit. Pornography is often consumed secretly, accompanied by shame, small lies, and emotional distance.

Relationship psychology research shows that the secret in marriage, no matter how small, can erode trust. When trust weakens, a sense of security in relationships falters. As a result, couples become more suspicious, defensive, and difficult to build emotional closeness.

Some people think that pornography can help increase variation and sexual arousal in marriage. However, research has shown the opposite. In many cases, couples, one of whom regularly watch pornography, tend to experience a decrease in the frequency of sexual intercourse and sexual satisfaction.

A relationship psychologist, John and Julie Gottman, concluded that pornography can interfere with the harmony of the couple because it shifts focus from real to pseudo-visual stimulation. Sexual intercourse becomes less intimate, less emotional, and more mechanical.

"Pornography often separates sex from emotional ties. In marriage, sex is not only physical activity, but also a means of building closeness, sense of security, and transportation," he said, quoted from the Verywell Mind page.

When pornography becomes the main source of sexual satisfaction, emotional relationships with your partner can slowly fade.

Marriage therapists state excessive use of pornography can make a person withdraw emotionally, reduce empathy, and lose interest in building connections with a partner. If left unchecked, this condition could pose a serious threat to the continuity of marriage.

Research also shows pornography forms an unrealistic picture of sex and the human body. Discenarioning scenes, perfect bodies and extreme sexual behavior are often misinterpreted as real standards.

As a result, couples especially women feel pressured to meet impossible standards. This triggers disappointment, frustration, and even conflict, because the reality of marriage is certainly different from the fantasy shown in pornography.

Several studies found that couples from pornographic users, especially wives, were at risk of experiencing a decline in self-esteem. Comparison with figures in pornography can cause feelings of not being good enough, not attractive, or unwanted.

This psychological impact affects not only individuals, but also the dynamics of relationships. Low self-esteem often leads to persistent jealousy, distrust, and tension in marriage.

Research shows several common reasons for using pornography in marriage, including as a escape from stress, loneliness, or emotional needs that are not met. In addition, pornography triggers the release of the hormone 'flavor' in the brain, thus providing fast and instant effects that are difficult to release.

However, the researchers also noted that it was not the only pornography that caused problems, but the way it was used, the context of relationships, and the lack of communication between partners.