Marriage Without Sex Life, Can It Last Long?

Illustration of husband and wife (Photo: Freepik/Drazen Zigic)

JAKARTA - Marriage relationships often change over time. After the end of the honeymoon period, the frequency of having sex between husband and wife (couple) usually decreases. However, what if a marriage actually runs without any sexual intercourse at all?

Wedding and family therapist, dr. Dana McNeil explains that this condition can have a serious impact on relationships.

"The life of a married couple without sex can cause emotional pressure, discomfort, or a sense of dissatisfaction with the relationship as a whole," McNeil said, quoted from the Bustle page.

This phenomenon is known as sexless relationship, which is when the frequency of having sex drastically decreases, causing problems in one party.

For most couples, sexual satisfaction is considered important to maintain long-term health. But McNeil insists that the main problem does not always lie in the frequency of sex itself.

Many couples innocently try to minimize the problem or ignore the problem because they don't know how to handle it. Some even feel embarrassed. It can backfire," he said.

According to McNeil, there are a number of factors that make married couples stop or rarely have sex:

1. Fatigue due to daily routines

Activities from morning to night often make your partner feel out of energy.

For some people, sex is on the list of activities that make them think it should be with totality. So that desire often disappears after getting tired of work or activities," McNeil said.

2. Unresolved conflict

Small quarrels, even those related to household chores can affect a partner's intimacy.

"So withdrawing from intimacy is considered to protect a partner and a way to take back control of a relationship that is not in a good situation," McNeil explained.

3. Health conditions or the use of drugs

Physical factors also play a role, such as injuries, certain diseases, or the use of drugs for depression that can reduce libido.

Although it sounds worrying, sexless relationship is not the end of everything. The therapist of marriage and family, Lesli Doares, stressed the importance of understanding the core of the problem first before finding a solution.

You must be able to identify beliefs and expectations about sex, as well as the role you want in the relationship. Start by self-reflection," said Doares.

Once the source of the problem is known, the couple is advised to open the conversation honestly and with empathy.

"Most importantly, be open to potential behavior you may also contribute to this problem, and try to empathize with your partner's point of view. Remember that the conversation is something that goes both ways." added Doares.

By listening to each other's thoughts, feelings, and hopes, couples can find a way out to revive intimacy in marriage.