7 Steps To Become A More Effective Parent In Raising Children

Illustration (Misha Kudrich/Pexels)

JAKARTA - Raising children is one of the most difficult and most satisfying jobs in the world. But sometimes, being a parent may also make you feel less prepared. These seven tips on raising children can help you feel more satisfied as a parent, cited from Kids Health, Friday, January 24.

Children begin to develop self-confidence from a baby when they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. Your voice tone, body language, and every expression are absorbed by the child. Your words and actions as parents affect their growing self-esteem.

Praise their achievements, no matter how small they are, it will make them feel proud. Allowing children to do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. On the other hand, comments of underestimating or comparing children with other children in a bad way will make children feel worthless.

Avoid making statements that contain payloads or use words as weapons. Comments like "How stupid are you!" or "You act more like a baby than your sister!" cause damage just like a physical blow.

Choose words with caution and compassion. Tell your children that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don't like their behavior.

Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought how often you react negatively to children in a day? You may find yourself criticizing more often than praising.

A more effective approach is to pay attention to the kids who do something right: "You tidy up the bed without being asked 'it's great!" or "Mother sees you playing with your arms and you're very patient." These statements will further encourage good behavior in the long term than repeated scolding.

You find something to be praised every day. Cheaply pleasing you to the gift of love, hug, and praise can be a miracle and is often a gift enough. You will soon realize that you are "growing up" more good behavior in children.

Discipline is needed in every household. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behavior and learn to control themselves. They may test the limits you set, but they need these limitations to grow up to be responsible adults.

Setting house rules helps children understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules may include: not being allowed to watch TV until homework is done, and not hitting, cursing, or mocking with pain.

You may want to implement a system: one warning, followed by consequences such as "rest time" or loss of privilege. The general mistake that parents make is not following up with consequences. You cannot discipline children for denying one day and ignoring it the next day. Being consistent teaches children to be more disciplined.

You can't expect your kids to do everything just because of you, as parents, "say it." They want and deserve an explanation just like adults do. If they don't take the time to explain, children will start wondering about your values and motives and whether it has a basis. Parents arguing with children allow them to understand and learn in a non-judicial way.

Explain your expectations. If there is a problem, explain, express feelings, and invite the child to find a solution together. Make sure to include the consequences. Give advice and offer options. Be open to child advice as well. Negotiate. Children who participate in decision making are more motivated to implement it.

As parents, you are responsible for correcting and guiding children. However, your way of expressing corrective guidance will determine how your child accepts it.

When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or making mistakes, which can hurt self-esteem and can cause hatred. On the other hand, try to maintain and encourage, even when disciplining children. Make sure they know that even if you want and expect better things at a later time, your love will still exist, whatever happens.

Faced with reality, you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Get to know your abilities. Try to overcome your weaknesses, Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and children. You don't have to have all the answers and try to forgive yourself.

Try taking care of your child as a manageable job. Focus on areas that need the most attention than trying to handle everything at once. Just admit when you feel tired. Don't forget to take a moment to do things that will make you happy.

Children learn a lot about how to act by observing their parents. The younger they are, the more signs they take from you. Before venting anger or anger in front of children, think about it: Do you want your child to behave like that when you get angry? Know that you are constantly being watched by children. Research has shown that children who like to hit usually have role models in terms of aggression at home.

Imitulate the traits you want to see in children such as respect, hospitality, honesty, kindness, and tolerance. Show non-selfish behavior. Do something for others without expecting anything in return. Say thank you and give praise. Most importantly, treat your children as you expect others to treat you.