Parents Love Eldest Or Bungsu Children More? Research Reveals Facts

Illustration of mothers with eldest child and youngest child (Freepic/pressphoto)

JAKARTA - In the family, the relationship between parents and children is often an interesting topic to discuss. Many think that the eldest child tends to get more attention. Meanwhile, youngest children are often said to be pampered. However, how do parents actually share their love? Recent research reveals interesting facts about this.

New research from the University of Brigham Young (BYU) provides interesting insights into this rivalry, revealing how parents may smoothly show their affection for their children based on the birth, personality, and gender sequences.

The research conducted by Professor Alex Jensen of BYU School of Family Life found that youngest children tend to receive more beneficial treatment from their parents. On the other hand, eldest children are often given more freedom and parents become less controllable to them as they get older.

"These findings can serve as a reminder for parents to realize the patterns that may occur in their families," Jensen said, quoted by VOI from the Science Alert page on Wednesday, January 22, 2025.

"When parents realize this, they can make small adjustments that are beneficial to all parties," he added.

The study also found that parents tend to favor girls a little more than boys. However, this love is felt by parents themselves, while children usually don't notice it.

In addition, personality also plays a big role. Children who are friendly and responsible, regardless of the birth or gender sequence, tend to get better treatment.

"Most parents may find it easier to connect with one child than the other, either because of personality, birth sequence, gender, or other things like the same interest," Jensen explained.

"Pay attention to these patterns in you. Pay attention to how your children react to things that may be considered a favorite," he continued.

Jensen emphasized that this dynamic is not only about your competition, but also about your child's well-being. His other research shows that children who feel less liked by their parents are more likely to experience mental health problems and behave poorly at home or at school.

Pay attention to things that seem unfair. Your kids will let you know if they feel something is unfair. Listen to them when they reveal it," Jensen said.

"Whether they don't understand your perspective, or you need to make changes to your parenting. Make sure you are open to the second possibility," he continued.

To conduct this research, Jensen and his team analyzed data from more than 19,000 individuals, drawn from various sources, both published and not.

This research provides an overview of how parental preferences can affect children throughout their lives.

Sometimes parents are too worried about treating their children the same way that they might ignore individual needs, Jensen said.

"We don't advise parents to feel guilty. Instead, use this research as an impetus to see areas where you can improve your parenting, without having to overdo it."

Jensen hopes this research can provide insight into the dynamics of families that are often felt, but rarely discussed.

Favoriteism, whether intentional or not, can form relationships between relatives and individual welfare. By recognizing these patterns, parents can strengthen family relationships in a meaningful way.

Simple answers are often the best. Join yourself and your children," Jensen said.

"Stop working together. Do things you like together. Do things that your children like. Work together, serve other people together, worship together. Relationships take time, and time together doing various things will provide many positive benefits. " he concluded.