Parents Who Are Too Competitive, Here Are 8 Effects On Children

Illustration of the effects of parents who are too competitive in children (Freepik/stocking)

YOGYAKARTA Healthy competition, actually good for children because it makes them excited about learning. But competition also has a limit, especially those who are competitive are the parents of the little one. Parents who are too competitive consciously or do not cause a bad impact on their children. Whether it's related to the achievement, value of sports, artistic abilities that parents are usually proud of.

According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that mothers compete in that mothers compete in several areas. Including property, physical and cognitive development of their children, knowledge of parenting, and care and their leeway compared to other parents. Even competition in the 21st century is getting tighter. Launching Parent Circle, Monday, January 13, although it is natural to compare with others in several dimensions, unhealthy competition should be avoided.

Unhealthy competition, characterized when someone demeans others to prove themselves better, compares children's academic and extracurricular achievements and behavior. Mothers and fathers or parents compete because of conflicting relationships. It could also be because it increases or maintains self-esteem, identity crisis, or because they feel insecure. If in children, this is the effect if parents are too computational.

Assessing the skills of parents in raising children through children's behavior and achievements, makes children depressed. They can also become anxious and stressed. Because this misalignment assessment creates a stressful environment for children. Children are ultimately asked to excel in realizing high self-esteem or the expectations of their parents.

A child should not be burdened with a heavy burden. Moreover, he must be able to do what his parents expect. If he falls, children's self-esteem will also fall. This can cause depression and even hatred or anger towards his parents. It is necessary to understand wisely that children have a different process of developing and speed. So parents need to accept this and encourage them to learn better.

Some parents may want their children to follow in their footsteps, related to success. This will make children sacrifice themselves to meet the expectations of their parents.

If children succeed and succeed, for competitive parents, it will bring satisfaction. But it needs to be understood, forcing children to follow their parents' dreams and expectations, making them lose other skills, especially those they are interested in.

Some parents force their children to do activities they don't like. When a neighbor's child has piano lessons, parents are competitive in registering their child's drum lessons without the child's agreement. Sometimes this is a sign that parents want to give their children the best opportunity. But children should also be considered and asked what they are interested in.

Competitive parents sometimes force themselves to achieve perfection. By forcing yourself, it is possible to miss building a healthy connection with children. This can also break the emotional closeness of parents.

A study conducted in Belgium, conducted in 2015, observed that mothers who are trying hard to gain self-esteem through their child's achievements, may highlight extrinsic goals and not see the overall development of children.

Parents who are competitive and compete with each other through their children, become more critical and like to control. These two behaviors hinder children's creative thoughts.

In addition to the eight bad effects for the children of the parents who are too competitive above, avoid constant comparing your child with other people. Even fellow siblings, for example the first and second children, also have their own abilities that are meaningful and cannot be compared. Because, by comparison, makes a child feel that he has never done anything good.