Changes In Gender's Role Begins To Be Accepted Because Of Pragmatic And Realistic Mindsets

The family of Irfan Bachdim and Jennifer who have to accept a change in gender role in earning a living because of a husband who is not working. (Instagram/@jenniferbachdim)

JAKARTA - Jennifer Bachdim's talk moment with artist Melaney Ricardo on the YouTube channel @MelaneyRicardo has become a hot topic of conversation among the public lately. That's because on that occasion, the wife of Indonesian footballer Irfan Bachdim admitted that she is now exchanging roles as a breadwinner in the family.

"I don't think this is a problem. Irfan has been working since the beginning of our marriage. Now, I think it's time for him to rest, spend time with the kids," Jennifer said.

It is currently known that Irfan Bachdim does not have a club or is unemployed after his contract with Persis Solo expired last year. Persis' offer to extend Irfan Bachdim's contract was rejected because Jennifer admitted that she had difficulty finding a house, life and school in Solo.

Finally, the decision to exchange roles was taken by the mother of four children after a year of playing Long Distance Marriage. Now Jennifer works as a breadwinner, and Irfan Bachdim Gentian takes care of the child.

Jennifer Bachdim's confession accepts the fact that her husband is no longer working to get mixed responses from the public. Many give thumbs up, but not a few who sneer at considering their wife as a breadwinner is not an ideal family example.

But psychologist Melok Roro Kinanthi said, the ideal family definition tends to be dynamic, changing according to the times. If previously what was considered ideal was a working husband and wife taking care of households, now people are starting to open up to accepting the phenomenon of fathers of households, especially in young families.

Along with the times, the role of traditional gender is slowly no longer considered as a saklek rule that must be followed rigidly. Social, economic, and cultural changes provide space for the community to define gender roles in the family. In today's era, there have been many assumptions that changing roles in the family is not taboo. So, it's okay if the wife earns a living while the husband takes care of the household.

Pragmatic and realistic thinking patterns also contribute to the public's openness to the phenomenon of fathers at home. If indeed the wife has better career opportunities and the wife's income is greater than her husband, why not just exchange roles? After all, these husbands are also not unemployed at home, they are also productive in raising children, taking care of their homes, and running a business from home," said Melok Roro Kinanthi to VOI.

In this context, the ideal condition is when the husband and wife agree to distribute the roles that have been determined together fairly. What is considered a problem is when the wife earns a living, but the husband is lazy at home and does not want to do domestic matters.

Despite the times that have developed, where equality - including equal, has the opportunity to work - for women to continue to be echoed, the negative stigma against working mothers remains endless. Mainly when a wife really takes on the role of breadwinner.

In fact, when the decision to exchange roles is taken in agreement between husband and wife, and ready to face all the consequences, family life will be fine. According to Melok, the challenge arises from outside the family itself, which is a negative stigma from the environment because they are considered to have failed to carry out public expectations regarding the role of traditional gender.

The public generally sees that meeting economic needs is the duty of the husband as a breadwinner. This is even stated in the Law of the Republic of Indonesia No1 of 1974 which regulates marriage. Article 31 paragraph 3 states that, Husband is the head of the family and wife of a housewife.

Whereas in building a family, meeting material needs is not everything, although it doesn't need to be seen that is important. A family according to Melok has a function that is much more important than just fulfilling material. Other family functions include providing emotional support, teaching and inheriting life values that are considered important, providing protection, to preparing an optimal new generation.

This family function must be realized by a couple, namely husband and wife, as well as other family members. So that when the wife leaves as a breadwinner, there is no 'dominant' feeling in the family because what the family needs is not just material.

"If you only emphasize the economic function and ignore the fulfillment of other functions, the family will limp. When the wife carries out a more dominant role in fulfilling economic functions, the husband can balance it by carrying out a more dominant role to fulfill other functions," said the lecturer at the Faculty of Psychology at YARSI University.

Husbands, wives, and other family members need to set their family's long-term vision and mission, and both play an active role in realizing the vision and mission with their respective roles. So, focus on the future.

As long as each party realizes that each party plays an active role in achieving the vision and mission, the husband and wife can respect each other and do not feel that there is something more dominant.