Gramnesia Phenomenon, When Parenting Becomes Pressure For Gen Z

JAKARTA - In the digital era, new terms continue to appear. One of them is Gramnesia, which is a phenomenon that is now widely discussed on social media. This makes many young parents feel that this term is very suitable to describe the current conditions.

Reporting from Huffpost, grammar is a combination of words grandparent (grandchildren) and amnesia (forgot). This term describes the conditions when grandparents seem to forget how difficult it is to take care of small children.

This phenomenon went viral after a therapist from Maryland, Allie McQuaid shared her experience on Instagram. The video alludes to how grandparents often make comments as if the time of raising children used to feel easy and without drama. The upload immediately received millions of views and thousands of comments from young parents who felt the same way.

Examples Of Gramnesia Comments That Are Often Heard

- 'You used to sleep well since the baby, never woke up at night.'

- You never hit like your child now.

- 'In the past we gave rice porridge, immediately went to sleep well. Try it.'

- You didn't choose food before, everything ran out.

At first glance it sounds normal, but for young parents this comment can actually add to mental stress. According to McQuaid, there are several causes, including:

- Miser memory as we get older. Getting older, the details of past experiences are easy to escape.

- Euphoric recall. Psychological phenomenon when experiences are difficult to remember in a more positive way than the original reality.

- Changes in parenting from time to time. Recommendations for pediatricians in the 1980s are clearly different from today.

- Cultural silence in the previous generation. In the past, parents, especially mothers, were rarely given space to talk about the difficulty of raising children.

Comments with the nuances of grammar can make millennials or Gen Z who are struggling to raise children feel:

- Not validated and deemed excessive.

- Fear of being branded spoiled or complaining.

- Confused about setting boundaries with their own parents.

How to Deal with it

Whereas the reality is that every stage of parenting has a different challenge that is legitimate to admit. For how to deal with it, the things you do include:

- Evaluation of your energy. If you're tired, it's okay just to smile and ignore it.

- Talk honestly. When ready, tell me how you feel in a healthy way. For example: "When you said I was never fussy, it felt like I doubted myself as a parent."

- Find a support system. If you are not ready to talk directly to your parents, tell your partner, friend, therapist, or the parenting community.

If you are a grandfather or grandmother, a simple sentence that can help your child feel lighter is 'Maybe we forgot how difficult it is to be a new parent. You've done your best, and that's amazing.'