Monkey-Barring Trend, Contemporary Dating Style Equated With Infidelity

Have you ever met someone who seems never alone? Just broke up for a moment, they seem to have partnered with a new partner.

As for those who choose to start a relationship with a new partner, even though they already have an old partner. This phenomenon is now known as a monkey-barring, which is a modern dating trend that is often considered similar to cheating.

In the world of love, monkey-barring refers to the habit of staying in a relationship while secretly building a connection with other people, with the aim of moving on to a new relationship.

Like monkeys moving from one place to another, people who do monkey-barring don't dare to let go of their hands on old couples until they believe they already have a new partner.

This phenomenon usually arises because of fear of being alone. As explained by a Reddit user about ten years ago, "Monkey-barring is when you don't let go of your old partner until you make sure there's a new partner ready to be held."

Many experts consider this behavior rooted in fear and emotional dependence.

"People who do this often lack emotional development, because they live life in a way that is driven by fear. They avoid heavy work in curing wounds from previous relationships," said Angelika Koch, a relationship expert from the Taimi application, quoted from the VICE page.

In fact, not infrequently people who are monkey-barring actually get out of their relationship emotionally before breaking up. They may have signed, submitted complaints, or tried to fix it, but when nothing changes, finally new people are the reason to really leave.

Although it seems trivial, monkey-barring brings many problems. Apart from being categorized as a form of emotional infidelity, this habit also hinders self-development.

Leaping from one partner to another makes you not have room to really develop and get to know yourself. That's an act based on fear, usually related to dependence. Many people do it for the sake of security so they don't feel alone," said Koch.

This means that people who are trapped in this pattern rarely have the opportunity to reflect, recover themselves, and find identities outside of a romantic relationship.

It is important to distinguish monkey-barring from a healthy move on process. There's nothing wrong if someone meets and falls in love with a new person after breaking up, as long as the previous relationship is really over.

The problem is when a person is still bound in an old relationship, but has prepared a new partner to make sure he is not alone.