Is The Duration Of Foreplay Really Important? This Is An Expert Explanation

JAKARTA - Foreplay is often considered a warm-up before having sex. But the question is, how long is the ideal duration of foreplay? Is there a certain time standard, or is it entirely dependent on the couple itself?

A sex therapist has the answer. Apparently, the focus is not about numbers of minutes, but about connection and mutual satisfaction.

Foreplay is a series of touches, kissing, caressing, seduction, to intimate communication that are carried out before penetration. The goal is to increase passion, strengthen emotional connections, and prepare the body and mind for sex.

"Foreplay is useful for heating the body and mind for the creation of sexual chemistry," said Erin Rayburn, LMFT, LPC-MHSP, NCC, a certified marriage and family therapist in the US, quoted from the Healthy page.

"This also increases the intensity and pleasure in having sex," he added.

So how long should it take to do foreplay? The answer is that there are no exact figures.

"Everyone has different sexual needs and preferences," Rayburn said.

He emphasized that foreplay cannot be pegged based on a certain time.

Women and men have different levels of passion and climax needs. So foreplay should be adjusted to each other's responses and conveniences," said Rayburn.

This was reinforced by a study from Canada in 2004 published in the Journal of Sex Research. The study involved 152 heterosexual couples and found that women tend to want longer foreplay, while men often underestimate the duration expected by their partners.

In other words, foreplay time is very subjective. It could be that one partner feels enough in five minutes, while the other partner needs 20 minutes or more.

"The most important thing is not how long, but how quality the interaction is. Focus on connection and satisfaction, not on duration," added Rayburn.

Satisfactory sex does not always depend on technique, but on an authentic connection between two people. Some studies say that the existence of provocative behavior, such as mutual intimacy, making out, or showing an explicit desire can increase passion significantly.

According to the American Psychological Association, protection is an act that actively shows sexual desire for a partner. In one scientific review published in Human Reproductive Biology, it is found that a partner showing this kind of interaction only takes about a minute foreplay before making love and can still reach orgasm. On the other hand, some couples still take up to 20 minutes or even more.

Foreplay is not a matter of duration. Foreplay is part of communication and intimacy that should be adapted to the wishes of both parties. The most important thing is to open up to each other, understand, and enjoy moments of togetherness without pressure.

Don't get too hung up on what other people do. Find out what is best suited to you and your partner. Because in the end, the best sex is built on the basis of connection and mutual comfort." Rayburn added.