5 Tips For Parents Teaching Children To Accept Failure

JAKARTA - Failure is part of life. Teaching children to accept failure and bounce back makes them stronger and ready to face the challenges of life. When children are afraid of failure, they are at risk of anxiety and anger when a mistake occurs. However, how do parents teach their children to accept failures well? Check out the tips that VOI has on the Child Mind page, Monday, February 17.

Take care of your children. Pay attention if they are experiencing difficulties. Dr. Amanda G. Mintzer, PsyD, clinical psychologist advises parents to say calming sentences that are better than just saying the phrase "that's okay".

"Taking children's frustrations and disappointments is an unreasonable act," said Dr. Mintzer.

On the other hand, parents need to change their language, for example, "Father sees you're really disappointed, I know you really want to be better."

You can explain that failure is part of life and happens to everyone, including you. You can share examples of "failure" you've experienced.

"Parents can be role models in dealing with their own disappointments, such as losing promotions at work," said Dr. Mintzer.

Children shouldn't always be faced with the fact that life is full of mistakes and failures. Even if everyone wants things to go according to plan, it's important to teach children that it's okay if they have to be wrong or fail.

Children's failure is an opportunity for parents to teach their accepting skills and solve problems. You and your child can try to think about what they can do at other times so that their chances of success are greater.

"This is a balance between acceptance and change," said Dr. Mintzer.

"It's about accepting the situation as it is and building tolerance for frustration while asking in myself 'can I change something in the future. Can I learn from this?'

At the same time, children need to know that sometimes when they fail or face disappointment, nothing much can be done at that time, apart from accepting them as part of life and moving forward.

So, how can parents help their children accept what is happening? According to Dr. Mintzer, teach them that as humans it is natural if they have experienced neglect or are not liked. And this reality should be faced without worsening the situation. Dr. Mintzer notes that this skill is needed to foster interpersonal relationships.

Seeing children fall is tough, but remember they can only learn how to deal with disappointment by trying it yourself. As emphasized in books such as The Blessings of a Skinned Knee and Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Successed, parents must stop watching. Otherwise, parents seize the experience of children who need their skills in solving problems and keep their children confident in facing new challenges.