Exclusive, Arda Naff Learns to Love Sincerely Through the Journey of Writing a Book

JAKARTA - Hatna Danarda or better known as Arda Naff received the title Today's Husband from netizens. Arda is considered a good husband for Tantri Syalindri or Tantri 'Kotak' and for his two children, Karanada Medina Tanarda and Arkhairan Cadenza Tanarda through uploads on his personal Instagram social media account.

In an exclusive interview with VOI, Arda said that he didn't actually create this figure deliberately so he could get the title of a good husband and father. He feels that what he uploads and shares on his personal social media is just his true identity.

In fact, at first, Arda was confused about whether to treat it like the social media account he had. Because as far as he knows, social media is usually filled with words of wisdom and is required to continue to look perfect for its followers.

"This is how I played on social media when social media first appeared, I became someone else. I don't understand the method, 'oh, social media has to be quotes, right?', 'oh it has to be something that can't be disabled, right?', but 'after a while, how come you get tired of playing social media? Because it's tiring for yourself in the world. Well, I continue to find the formula that because of viewers, likes or not, it's not my control, it's like a toll road that has no end and then I want to make social media, whatever social media I want to make, anything, that talks about anything that I don't have any intention of doing. In those quotation marks, I had no intention of hurting anyone, I just wanted to tell a personal story, a story that was as real as possible," said Arda in the Jagakarsa area, South Jakarta, Friday, March 22.

"If people think, 'What is an image?', I am actually being myself, but I have to say that a good compliment is just as serious as being called a bad compliment, because it could be a blow too, it could be a double-edged sword. The only thing I want to share is that the aim is to tell the story that no human being is perfect, and then I tell you that it is to say that I am not perfect. That's why I have to play with my children, among other things I have to do, I have a family that I have to look after, I fertilize, because in this world the pursuits are endless, that's why I probably tell a lot about things that are down to earth," continued Arda.

However, it was unexpected that Arda's story could become an inspiration for his followers on Instagram. He said that some of his followers shared their daily stories with him via short messages on his Instagram account. Arda even admitted that there was one of his video uploads about his mother leaving which ultimately made one of his followers decide to go home to improve communication with his parents.

"Yesterday I told you about migrants, about my story in the book Pelabuhan Terakhir where I met my mother who passed away. Well, I went home to pursue my career, but when I came home my mother was given a shroud and I didn't accompany her when she died. So, I told the story as it is, 'yes, sometimes parents really don't want to bother their children and children always feel like they never succeed in making their parents happy', that point of view is indeed from the heart, from the heart and people are, 'wow bro, it's me' and people all spilled in there," he added.

"And the post was so busy that to this day, how many millions have watched it and that makes me happy again until someone says someone is DMing, I captured it but I don't have the courage to share it yet, I have to get permission. He bought a ticket to go home, that's just a post, I thought it was just a post, but he bought a ticket to go home, he planned, 'I'm not actually going home, I'm saving money, but seeing this post, I immediately bought a ticket to go home, I want to talk to my parents, there's a problem. Gap between my parents and I might not be good,' he said" said Arda.

This 35 year old man does not have his own way of making his story accepted by people. The most important thing for Arda is what is. He tries to tell every event in his life truthfully and carefully.

"The more I intend, 'Wow, I want to inspire people', 'Wow, I think the sincerity is lost'. OK, I'm teaching sincerity, wow, it's getting less and less sincere, I want to create content that makes people busy, but not so much, I want to share things that I think are good, that's what I intend. I believe in the world of energy that is said, energy for continuation, even bad comments have energy for continuation, what makes people bad, what makes people stressed, what makes people hurt and all kinds of things like that, I'm more careful like that," he explained.

"I don't dare say I'm sincere, the more I tell you what it means to be sincere, the less sincere I become, so whatever I want, I just want it as it is," he said.

Proving the Love through Story

Getting quite a big appreciation for the simple stories on social media accounts made Arda finally moved to create a book specifically telling the story of his love journey with his wife, Tantri Syalindri. The journey of this book began during the Covid period 2 years ago when Tantri herself did not know the journey of writing this book.

As someone who is writing a book for the first time, Arda admits that it is not an easy matter. The reason is that he had to consult a psychologist in order to finish this book, which forced him to open up dark memories in his life that he no longer wanted to bring up.

"Then 2 years ago, during Covid, when I wrote a lot, people often said, 'Sir, make a book', 'Sir, your work quickly influences other people', and then, 'Oh yeah, make it', 'I want to write', writing reflects. I just write, I write, I don't know where the book is going, I just write and Tantri doesn't even know the writing process," said Arda.

"I wrote right in the middle of stopping, 'Oh my God, it's really hard,' oh my life that I've been through, I stopped, until I went to a psychologist, frankly, because of the memory shelves that I had stored in my memories, I had I didn't want to, I got up again and it turned out to be painful. I stopped for a few months and then Tantri said, 'You wrote bad things, what happened in your life might be a good thing for other people'. Wow, I immediately said, 'Yeah, why did I have to experience what was probably the worst thing in the past and all kinds of things? Yes, it's possible to share it with people so that we can strengthen each other'," he continued.

Finally, Arda decided to make a book about his love journey with Tantri Syalindri, who would soon be entering their 10th anniversary of marriage. Where the beginning of the journey of love begins with the doubts of a man who is not yet established towards a woman who has become a rockstar and is known throughout Indonesia.

"When I was dating, I said, when she became a rock star, I was still a kid, confused about what to do, it was her birthday, oh, there were lots of gifts, because she was already an artist, there were cellphones, rings, all kinds of things, wow, it's interesting that everyone can buy them. So I just want to give her a song, I made a song called Pelabuhan Terkahir. The lyrics say there are the words 'I realized I have nothing but to make things right because of love'. The standard is just like this, 'Okay, if it's a ring it might be thrown away, if it's a cellphone maybe it's not up to date, but if it's a song it's definitely memorable', something like that," he exclaimed.

"Well, I kept playing that song to her, at that time it was only 2010. I really remember her hair hanging down like that, then she put on a headset, then she listened to it, then she cried, she said, 'If we're going to be friends, we'll record this song together'. Well, in 2014 we finally wanted to get married, well 10 days beforehand we promised 'oh that's the song we promised first', 'okay, let's record it', finally we recorded the song, that's the beginning, finally it went up, this is our 10th wedding this year," explained Arda.

According to Arda, the journey of 10 years of marriage was not an easy thing for Arda and Tantri to overcome, the emergence of quarrels, boredom, emotions and all kinds of things were felt by the couple who married in 2014. So one way to minimize boredom and quarrels with your wife is to write a book as a self-reflection.

"Falling in love many times, that's for sure, but is there a moment when you feel jealous? Suddenly, this moment is about feelings, right? Feelings can change, especially in humans, right? So Allah is the one who changes feelings, right? -Suddenly you can get angry, suddenly you can fight, suddenly you can hate. So, these are my efforts to create sparks again, including on social media, including for surprises, including reflections on making books and all that kind of effort to make love come again, otherwise it will be flat," he continued.

"The test of people who love is boredom, we will be tested by boring things. Well, it turns out that when you get it, it turns out that it's more difficult to look after it and take care of it, it's much more difficult than getting it, so how do you fall in love, that's up to each person, until now 10 years of our marriage, there are dreams that we want to achieve, there are us. In the future there will be this, 'let's achieve it', later there will be a goal and then there will also be works that will help us look after us, because it's like a glass, can't be filled with water if the water is already full, so it has to be poured elsewhere," concluded Arda closed the interview with VOI.