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We have denied the perspective of BDSM as a sexual deviation through the article "Testing the DPR's Narrative on BDSM as Sexual Deviation". Part of a typical VOI Series, "In BDSM Dimensions". This time we will see BDSM activities directly from the perspective of those who practice it. We will also explore how this sexual activity got started. There is a long history behind it.

"We'll provoke naughty talk first. Because, we can't immediately play handcuffs, play tie, want to whip. You have to slow down first. First, tie his hands with ordinary rope, slowly, the level increases to the scenario of using handcuffs and others, ”said Ademula.

The 30-year-old man who works as a private employee is one of the many people who are bothered by the Family Resilience Bill which prohibits bondage and discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) sex. He's one of those people who frequently practice BDSM sex, of course.

Ademula cannot accept the logic of members of the People's Representative Council (DPR) that consider domestic violence (KDRT) to originate from BDSM. Ademula said, in BDSM practice, he always maintains the values of freedom and openness.

Before starting sex, Ademula and her partner will communicate who will be dominance and who will be submissive. Dominance is the dominating party. Submissive, on the contrary. And all BDSM sex activities that are carried out must be based on an agreement. There are restrictions that Ademula or her partner must obey. In his eyes, BDSM is an art.

“There are those who wear ropes, cover their mouths, handcuffs, and wear their clothes too. And that's where BDSM activity is seen as an art, ”said Ademula to VOI, some time ago.

Illustration (Zseee / Pixabay)

Even so, Ademula admits that BDSM sex is taboo. Never mind the members of the DPR. Ademula, who has been a BDSM sex lover for a long time, had difficulty getting her partner to do BDSM. The approach, said Ademula, must be done well.

“At first I had difficulty convincing my partner. At that instant, then slowly explained, we did, and managed to get a different sensation. For example, we hit, but not the form of a hit. It's not hard, there are limits, "said Ademula.

After having BDSM sex, Ademula and her partner used to hug. For him, it is important to reconnect emotional relationships that may be 'shaky' due to the violence committed in BDSM sex. "For that, after each sex ritual, we both enter the introspection phase, hugging and apologizing if it's a little rough," Ademula.

A similar story is told by Argi Reza (27). For Argi, BDSM is a very private matter. BDSM can be very enjoyable for one person, but can be very annoying for others. And for him, BDSM is a trigger for arousal. As Ademula said, openness is very important in starting BDSM sex practices. "Slowly. Gradually, these activities are more often carried out with various kinds of improvisations and scenarios," said Argi.

BDSM history

BDSM in itself is not a sexual activity that has emerged recently. There is a long history that records the presence of BDSM in human sexual activity. In fact, almost every civilization in the world has its own story related to BDSM rituals.

If traced, the origin of BDSM known is thousands of years BC. In fact, since the oldest civilization in the world, Mesopotamia. By many, Mesopotamia itself is known as the home of the gods in leading mankind. One of these deities is Goddess Inanna who is highly respected.

His figure, often adorned with jewels and crowns, began to encourage his followers to perform an offering dance. Uniquely, this dance is not an ordinary dance category which is full of gentle movements with stunning choreography. The dance leads its followers into a frenetic realm of sexual activity.

Such activity continued into Ancient Greece, involving Spartan men and women to the Tomb of Whipping, a room where they experienced sexual pleasure whips. The difference is, in Greece, sex is not only intended as a ritual.

As described by Michel Foucault in his book entitled History of Sexuality (1976). “In Greece, truth and sex are related in a pedagogical form, through the transmission of valuable knowledge from one body to another; sex functions (presented) in media in the form of initiation to learning, "it is written.

Ancient books

In Asia itself, although not specifically mentioning BDSM, sex issues have begun to be reflected in the reliefs of temples in India and in Indonesia. In fact, culture which is rich in eroticism and sexuality has been packaged in an old book called Kamasutra by Vatsyayana. Some consider the appearance of kamasutra at that time to be a superficial description of human lust for sex.

However, there are also those who consider Kamasutra to be a substantial philosophical account of the natural state of man. Also, there are those who consider Kamasutra as a trend or many say that Kamasutra is a revolution in which taboo matters are then described in such a way as to produce scientific treatises on the teachings (sutra) on sexual desire or love (kama).

BDSM is described in the seventh part of the Kamasutra. This section contains the theme of ways to arouse lust and various kinds of sexual experiments and recipes to increase sexual arousal. "If a man cannot satisfy a woman, he must use various means to satisfy her lust."

Kamasutra (Yudhistira Mahabharata / VOI)

"At first, with his hand or fingers, the man should grope or rub his partner's yoni, until the woman becomes lustful. Or the man can use certain objects attached to his linggam to increase the length or size to fit the yoni. the woman. "

That's Kamasutra. In the archipelago, sexual activity has been discussed since ancient times through a book entitled Serat Centini (1816). That is where it is clearly written that Javanese women at that time did not behave naively, passively and surrender to sexual activities, as the stereotypical Javanese view we have accepted.

In fact, women at that time were quite straightforward and outspoken in expressing their sexual experiences. One story reveals: The Duke's behavior is disgusting. Breasts, cheeks, sucked, bitten, and there are full of tooth marks.

Author Otto Sukatno CR, in his book Sex and Prince (2002) reaffirms how women at that time were very servile to the quality of sex. The basis for that desire is then believed to drive much experimentation and exploration in sexual activity.

“Apart from that, like men, women are also willing to try something new. Sometimes new things in the world of sexuality attract him. Many women are willing to have new sexual experiences with their partners. So, men need not hesitate to ask their partners to try new things in sex, "wrote Otto Sukatno CR.

Desire, experiment, for the quality of qualified sex. BDSM is part of these three variables. He was driven by desire. The trick is experimental. The goal, of course, is the quality of sex. This is described by Hendry Miller in his novel entitled Tropic of Cancer (1934).

"Men love copulation, so do women. It doesn't harm anyone and it doesn't mean you have to love everyone you fuck, don't you? ”

Follow this issue's Writing Series: In BDSM Sex Dimensions


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