YOGYAKARTA Raising and accompanying children until they live independently is not an easy task. Not infrequently parents experience anxiety, feel helpless, and act impulsively when going through difficult times. Simply put, when children cry and act, parents need to face it calmly. Not by shouting, punishing, or judging, but the advice of experts to open up efforts to communicate.
Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., parenting expert and parenting coach and Playful Parenting writer recommend simple sentences that parents need to say when going through difficult times. Reported by Psychology Today, Sunday, March 12, here is the sentence.
When your child cries and goes berserk, we can't 'improve' it right away. At this moment, parents are often cornered helpless. Powerlessness can change defensively and damage the mood. But it needs to be realized, when the children are angry and cry, they don't want to trouble their parents. They just want parents to know that the children are having a hard time. So, try to stay calm so that it will be more effective in understanding and overcoming tantrum children.
Behavior is an important communication. As an illustration, a newborn does not have verbal language, then expresses his needs through tears. Likewise, when children recognize verbal language, they do not understand the right sentence to express their feelings. So communicating is the only attempt to understand them.
We all have very big feelings even for small things. So, instead of telling children to reduce their feelings, it's better to realize any reason that seems small but actually big for them.
When parents feel helpless when their child tantrums, they will often act impulsively. Such as shouting, giving inconsistent rules, and getting out of the way to educate them to remain disciplined. A reminder may help, don't hurt your child with verbal or non-verbal language. They can actually do good things without feeling pain.
Giving hugs and allowing children to cry to express their feelings can be done. In addition, the job of parents is not to change their feelings. But told them they see the problem and deal with it independently in managing their feelings.
From the sentences above, it implies that it contains a message for parents. That when a child behaves badly and his emotions are messy, it needs to be directed and accompanied in managing behavior and emotions.
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