Bad Habits In Nursing Children That Need To Be Left Behind

Illustration (PNW Production/Pexels)

JAKARTA - Have you ever asked your child, 'More love for Mama or Papa?' or, 'Papa or Mama who is better?' Actually, what is the reason you ask your little one? As if there is parental competition in raising children.

Amy Morin, LCSW, psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do, reported Parenting, February 27, saying that the competition between parents that makes children have to choose between the two is toxic.

According to him, children observe and learn how parents as partners communicate, treat each other, and work together. Parents who show toxic habits can send children wrong messages about love and life.

In the end, this will affect the way they look at themselves and the world around them and even reduce the quality of their lives.

Amy noted three toxic habits that parents might do and could negatively affect their children:

Instead of working with each other in parenting, some parents actually have bad habits by assuming that they are competing to do more. For example, who mostly picks up children at school, who can help their children do homework the most, who makes the most money.

Always trying to outperform your partner will hurt the relationship between parents and children. According to Amy, children will feel much better with two parents who are both trying. The best family is the one who works together. From here children also learn about the meaning of contributing to each other for their fellow family members.

Children love their parents sincerely. Debates about who is more loved or liked by children can backfire. Often to become parents who are preferred by their children, parents get involved in wrong habits by pampering their children or allowing their bad behavior. This is done to win children's hearts in order to choose him to become a favorite parent.

This certainly won't be good at parenting. You'll be happy to be your favorite parent, but later on, you'll find it difficult to manage your kids. Children need a clear structure, firm boundaries, and consistent discipline, which means there will be days when you won't win popularity contests," said Amy.

Unhealthy relationships can cause disagreements in parenting. For example, Mama is considered too strict in terms of child food. Mama does not allow children to play with their cellphones outside a predetermined hour. Meanwhile, Papa responded to this by becoming more relaxed to balance the decisions and attitudes of his partner.

Finally, the impression that appeared was that Mama was seen as a civil while Papa was seen as an angel who always helped children.

"Playing good parents and bad parents will only encourage children to manipulate the situation," said Amy.

According to him, this causes unhealthy inconsistencies for children in terms of discipline.