Do You Have A Problem With Your Partner? This Is The Initial Steps To Do When Wanting To Improve

Illustration (Budgeron Bach/Pexels)

JAKARTA - You are the one who has problems with your current partner, but want to try asking him to solve problems together? First of all, make sure your mood and he is better.

"Relieve yourself first 15-30 minutes, while listening to music or breathing exercises. For expressive types, you can do something while doing something, for example washing dishes to make your energy release a bit calmer," said psychologist from the Three Generations, Alfath Hanifah Megawati, as quoted by Antara.

Once the atmosphere is calm, start inviting your partner to talk with a trivial topic accompanied by humor. Remember not to use language that blames your partner.

"Starting from the small things first, the importance of being overtaken by humor. Avoid blaming languages. It's important to learn to communicate what we feel, not what your partner does to us," said the psychologist who is usually called Ega.

According to Ega, in principle you have to get used to communicating with your partner, not just when there is a problem. You can try to talk about things like commenting on news or even a South Korean drama, aka drama, such as what celebrities Tarra Budiman likes to do with his wife.

"In principle, communication is not only done when in conflict, it must be used as routine. Get used to communicating even for small things, humor, not serious things," he said.

"(Talking about) things that make us dare to speak. Commenting on Korean dramas, news," continued Tarra.

Ega does not recommend that you remain silent when you have problems with your partner. It's different if the silence you do is part of how to calm yourself down. Shut up during conflict (outside trying to calm yourself down) is a bad language in conflict. You can't expect your partner to know the contents of your mind and heart if you don't talk.

"If the function (silence) is to calm down, it's good. But I hope your partner finds out, can read our minds, that's wrong," he said.

On the other hand, do self-evaluation. Pay attention to whether you have a scary expression when talking to your partner when there are problems or how to talk that is not relaxed enough. It could be that when your partner communicates with you it is depressed.

"Maybe every time we are in conflict we put up a scary expression so that we don't open up a comfortable discussion room with your partner. Tiliking from us is not only from the side of the partner. Maybe I'm not relaxed enough," according to Ega.