JAKARTA - There is nothing wrong with being firm or soft to children. However, there is one parenting pattern approach that is being discussed lately, namely peaceful parenting, which prioritizes gentle and mindful ways.
This parenting also highlights cooperative solutions and invites children to empathize in realizing their mistakes rather than punishing them, so that in the future they will be able to solve the problems they face.
Through the relationship between parents of children based on this mutual trust, respect and love, it is hoped that children will be able to develop their social skills, life skills, and critical thinking skills so that in the future they become capable, compassion, able to resolve conflicts, be responsible, and respect themselves and others.
How to transform into this parenting style? Here are five tips for the transition to peaceful parenting from Laura Markham, Ph.D., author of the book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting as reported by Psychology Today, Monday, January 2.
Set your emotions. Whenever you feel annoyed or angry with your child try to do this: stop talking, stop activities, and take a breath. Angering your child will only cause inner hurt to him. So, it's better to choose to make peace with yourself than to express annoyance with your little one.
When the child is cooling down, explain the reason you ask your child to suffer the consequences of his actions. Don't forget, keep giving your child motivation, for example, by saying that your child has behaved better than before.
For example, tell your child that you want everyone to work together to make things better. Mama will try hard not to get angry, listen to and be kind to you. But you also promise to always be kind to Adik, huh?.
Don't get angry when your child gets into trouble, but offer a better solution. For example, when the eldest scolds the younger brother for playing his favorite toys without permission, say, Mama knows you're angry with your sister, but don't hit your sister, okay? Come on, we'll just find a safe place to store so that your sister can't take it carelessly.
The more flexible you are in dealing with your child's mistakes, the better your impression in your child's eyes. Apply boundaries while still heeding your child's point of view. When he refuses to take a quick shower and stop playing, try saying, 'You want to keep playing and don't stop until bedtime. Yes, I'm sure that when you grow up, you play all night every day. But now, let's take a shower first.'
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