YOGYAKARTA guilt is not always bad. In children who have empathy, they will feel guilty when making mistakes. However, parents need to realize that instead of making their children feel guilty and cornering them. It's better to spark a chat to find a solution.
Children may feel uncomfortable when they damage something important for those closest to them, said Deborah Farmer Kris, educator of parents reported by Huffpost, Monday, December 5. Due to that guilt, children may have the courage to say regret and find ways to move forward.
Emiting children, needs to be grown since they are young. That is, parents play a role in coaching and teaching, not embarrassing or blaming when making mistakes. More importantly, according to Kris's recommendations, parents must connect their children's actions with other people's emotions. Try to avoid making embarrassing or judge comments when your child makes mistakes.
Children are basically selfish because it fits into their development, says Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, a clinical psychologist at Boston Children's Hospital, Massachusetts. This means they can bear the mistakes that are not actually their responsibility. They are also more concrete, so that a sense of guilt and bad feelings form evidence that they are bad. So, when you are upset avoid expressing your frustration because their actions don't match what you plan to do.
Children believe that they are to blame for parental disputes. So the best thing is to avoid getting angry or express emotions in front of your children.
Parents should remember that children cannot understand the complexity of adult and adult emotional relationships. They can be stressed and difficult to communicate when they see their parents fighting. Experts advise, discuss it with your partner without an argument. Do not let your child feel responsible for your disapproval.
Some children will internalize a sense of guilt and feel that guilt makes them become 'bad guys'. This feeling can develop into shame. Knight suggested that parents should pay attention to the words spoken. Although they don't like it, don't label children as 'bad children' and others that can later be internalized.
When children act or mess up, it's important for them to have the opportunity to make up for mistakes. Parents should try to process their hurt or frustration and be open to their child's apology.
In addition to the five behaviors that need to be avoided above, parents also need to agree on punishment with their children. The punishment or in other words is considered an opportunity for the child to correct the wrong, it must be adjusted to the child's consent and make sense.
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