Teaching How To Adapt To Children By Sorry At The Right Time

Illustration of how to teach children responsibility and adaptation (iStock/shapecharge)

YOGYAKARTA Parents are examples for their children. When you apologize when you don't make mistakes, you don't set a good example. Why is that? The parenting expert and author of Why Is My Child in Charge, Claire Lerner, LCSW-C., said that apologizing to your child when you react strongly to them is important.

Parents provide a strong model to teach responsibility for the actions taken. By apologizing, it means being willing to step back, reflect, and regulate yourself. This is one of the most important and greatest assets to create a sense of security and entanglement.

On the other hand, when they don't do anything wrong, parents don't need to apologize. Like when making▁tajams in a round shape, getting a long queue number, or when children lose playing games.

According to Lerner as reported by Psychology Today, at times like that, children may feel pressured because the reality is not what they expected. So how do you respond to children's pleasantries by not apologizing for the reality that doesn't match their expectations?

apologizing in real but unwanted situations, actually makes children not learn to respond to situations they don't want. This makes children less flexible and stiff. Sorry for the wrong time, making them less trust in others and not become resilient.

Instead of saying sorry, non-spherical▁pilihoffs are better to validate emotional experiences by saying even though the shape doesn't make you comfortable, but it doesn't feel the same, you know''. This method does not ignore his emotional feelings, but also teaches them to be flexible. In fact, it sets boundaries, flexibility, and adaptive strategies.

It should be understood by parents, that the world is not adapting to us. On the other hand, we must learn to adapt to the world. So, apologize appropriately so as not to manipulate expectations in children.