Relations Specialists Express The Cause Of Relations Between Mothers And Girls Who Are Not Actors

Illustration of the relationship between mothers and girls not getting along (iStockphoto/Doucefleur)

YOGYAKARTA Many view that the conflict between mother and child stems from biological congenital. But the relationship specialist and family therapist and author Rosjke Hasseldine revealed that it is not a different hormonal situation between a daughter and her mother. But more related to the social and cultural environment that surrounds the lives of the two.

Another common reason that is considered to underlie the frequent disagreement between mothers and their daughters is about their different personality traits. However, according to Hasseldine, not hormones or different personality traits. The conclusion is that after facing a female mother client for 20 years, the community regulates her mother and daughter for conflict. The full explanation, below.

Launching the Counseling Today page, Thursday, September 22, the relationship between mothers and daughters is not difficult to understand once they realize their relationship is in a cultural space. Relationships in a sociocultural and multigenerational environment, have influencing dynamics.

As a family therapist, particularly dealing with a mother-daughter relationship, Hasseldine argues that events in life, limiting gender roles, career goals that are not realized, and the hope that women should sacrifice their needs in the role of parenting, it all shapes a mother's perspective. It also affects how a mother communicates and views themselves and each other.

Even more dredging, according to Hasseldine, mothers and girls rarely fight over what they say is being debated. Hasseldine tells the story of Sandeep, a young college student from England. Sandeep's relationship with her mother is not smooth. The daughter, who has three brothers and sisters, is under pressure about how critical her mother is. Sandeep has finally struggled to adjust the work, college, and homework expected by mother and family.

Sandeep said that his mother would accuse him of not being a household administrator who is good enough because he is incompetent at caring for his mother when he is sick. Hasseldine said she could not work clinically because she had never met Sandeep's mother. It should be understood that the environment can form a person to become angry and critical.

The aspect underlined by Hasseldine is how to communicate, an unfair role in the family, misunderstanding mistakes, and emotional disconnection can lead to poor mother-daughter relationships. In Hasseldine's recommendation, a mother needs to recognize her own ideas. Even knowing what is needed in all relationships.

In writing The Mother-Daughter Puzzle, when a family does not communicate positively about the needs of each family member, mother and daughter are ready to conflict. Further recommendations, asking and telling the truth about what is needed can help prevent conflict. This is done so that every need is recognized at least.