Want Better Relationships? Clinical Psychologist Advice: Try Collaborative Communication

Illustration of collaborative communication in a romantic relationship (Freepik/Tirachardz)

YOGYAKARTA – In the context of culture or teamwork, collaborative communication is often used. Basically, collaborative communication is defined as a method of exchanging information that helps people work towards a common goal. This method of communication, is not only useful in the business aspect but also in love relationships.

Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, points out that couples who practice collaborative communication experience more overall relationship satisfaction. Collaborative communication, reported by Psychology Today, Monday, July 25, does not only refer to the words spoken by mouth. But it also involves tone, expression, body signals, and so on. Most do not even realize that non-bald communication also conveys messages. In six points, Firestone reveals a special technique regarding collaborative communication.

1. Be a better listener, more in tune, and less always defensive

Because you are on a team, you and your partner must practice listening skills. Tune in, sync, and listen without interrupting. It's not that we always agree with everything your partner says, but the goal is to understand how to position yourself and empathize with your partner's experiences. This is part of creating a shared understanding.

Illustration of collaborative communication in a romantic relationship (Freepik/Cookie Studio)

2. Separating the past from the present

When too emotional or defensive, someone needs to pause in reaction. Sometimes, when driven by despair, you are provoked to not listen fully. Well, understanding turns out to be related to the lens of the past and the great feelings that arise from within. The more familiar we are with the triggers for responding, the more we can stop ourselves from spilling emotional waves aggressively. Firestone's message, rather than blindly reacting, it's better to try to be careful in responding.

3. Express yourself in the most understandable way

Sometimes, someone chooses to be silent in expressing themselves and cannot be understood. Not infrequently also feel the need to protect themselves so that they express themselves in defensive and aggressive language. In fact, in collaborative communication we need to focus on expressing how we think and feel without blaming others.

4. Fix after communication drop

Everyone makes mistakes and has times when they are not at their best with the people we care about the most. The best thing you can do to get back on the same team is to improve. Acknowledge what happened, accept responsibility, and try to find a balanced way to communicate thoughts, feelings, wants, or needs.

5. Give a closer response

In collaborative communication, the point is not to regard everything as our fault or responsibility. This does not mean covering up the partner's faults, but rather that each has a role in expressing themselves, being heard, seen, and harmonized.

When you get too emotional, take a break to calm yourself down. Then be open and express your perspective. Then cultivate the same mindset in your partner. while doing this, it helps the couple to get closer but doesn't make one or the other guilty.

6. Communicate more effectively

Communication will run smoothly when in a calm condition. When you feel vulnerable and overly emotional, a person tends to react in a way that you will later regret. It could even be unfair. So try to take five minutes to take a break and approach your partner to communicate more effectively when they have calmed down.