JAKARTA - Not all families have a warm and harmonious atmosphere in them. There are many stories of parents and children who don't get along, brothers who often fight, even parental relationships that can no longer be maintained. Severe family problems must be resolved immediately, because family is the source of life.
If you experience this, here are five tips for dealing with family problems that are already severe and difficult to solve, citing Mindbodygreen, Friday, May 27.
Identify the specific problem
If you are dealing with a family problem, the first thing you can do is be specific about what you are dealing with. Is it related to parents? Sibling conflict? or lack of communication?
Whatever the case, the psychotherapists Nuñez and Spinelli agree that this is a necessary first step. After understanding the problem, the next thing you can do is communicate.
Communicate the problem
The problem will not be solved if it is continuously covered up. No matter how difficult the problem, it's good to try to overcome it so as not to burden the mind.
"Give yourself a chance to express your anger or frustration, or disappointment to others," Spinelli says.
Also, according to Nuñez, you can use softer language when conveying any negative emotions. Use my pronoun instead of you. For example, use the phrase "I'm sad that you can't come to dinner," instead of "You always skip dinner, it's just so inconsiderate."
It's best to communicate this as soon as you feel something is up about your family.
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Seek For professional help
After raising your concern, you may need to seek professional help. Whether you choose individual therapy, couples therapy, or family therapy is up to you and your family. But any of them can definitely help in understanding how family problems have affected you and how to deal with them.
"If the family doesn't go to therapy, it's important for everyone to feel like they have a voice in them to speak up and to voice what they need in the family," Nuñez said.
Set limits
And last but not least, when all methods fail, it is necessary to apply boundaries between problematic family members so that the dynamics in the family remain healthy.
"Think seriously about how you set boundaries," says Spinelli.
Whether you choose not to go to every family gathering, keep your distance from family members who make you uncomfortable or angry, or simply tell family members when their behavior is unacceptable to you. Spinelli says that you are fully entitled to do so.
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