YOGYAKARTA – Talking about sex is still considered taboo, even though the conversation is done with a committed partner. Research shows a unique finding, if couples discuss sex more openly, problems around sex are almost non-existent. How could it be and what influenced it?
Knowledge is power. Knowing all about your partner is very important. Including knowing the most intimate part. Reported by The Psychology Group, Wednesday, May 11, it turns out that not many couples take the time to get to know each other's most intimate parts. So, it is recommended to fix it and start talking about it in the following way.
Avoid offending conversations
A pleasant conversation does require a filter, which one to express without offending your partner and how to convey it. For example, don't blame your partner when he's not in the mood for sex. Make them feel comfortable, then express your complaint without making them defensive.
Consider the time
The most intimate topics aren't the right thing to talk about before bed, advises Jose Ramirez, a licensed mental health counselor. It is also important to have these conversations in an appropriate environment. Try to both take time and relaxed situations so that the chat is not rushed and is of higher quality.
Be open and honest
Talk about how 'bed' problems affect you, talk about it for yourself, not for your partner. Be honest about your current needs, this is especially important if yours have changed. Say you notice that you are not in the mood as before, this is important information for your partner to know.
Take responsibility
Is there a role you might play in this matter? Try not to blame your partner. Be honest about why this is an important need for you. Remember to ask your partner for their opinion and feedback if you are open to it.
Know what's important to talk about
If you've been talking about individual eroticism, try to communicate about something else. Such as fantasy, fetishes, past experiences, what they like, what makes them aroused, to position preferences, location, frequency, to time.
Ramirez's further advice, don't judge. Just because your partner is expressing a certain fantasy doesn't mean you should. Conversation about sex with your partner, is a reparative act. Being open with your partner also helps with shyness, clears up passions, and helps strengthen the relationship as a whole.
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