JAKARTA - When a disaster strikes, as a parent you have a big challenge, namely to process the feelings of sadness you feel and help your child do the same. As a parent, you certainly can't protect your little one from sadness. However, you can help them express their feelings, comfort them, comfort them, and teach them how to deal with sadness.
By allowing them to express their feelings of sadness, it means that you are honing your child's healthy coping skills, so that they feel confident in overcoming difficulties.
Tell the newsWhen an unpleasant event occurs, you should not delay telling your child about the incident. As much as possible try to have you deliver the news yourself. Don't wait for him to find out from tv or other people. The goal is for you to help your child regulate emotions.
Ask the child's response to the newsTake time with your child and then ask for their opinion on the news they see or hear. Also give him a chance to ask questions. Give real answers and avoid answers that encourage children to fantasize badly.
Stay calmIt's okay to tell your child you're sad, but if you talk to your child about the traumatic experience in an emotional way, then chances are he or she will absorb your emotions. On the other hand, if you stay calm, he's more likely to understand that bad events can happen in life and learn from bad experiences to help him grow stronger.
Adjust news according to ageDon't give too much information, as this may be redundant. Instead, try to answer the child's questions. Do your best to answer honestly and clearly. It's okay if you can't answer all the questions. Most importantly, try to always be there when your child needs it.
Difficult conversations such as sad news will not end in one go. Re-discuss this topic as many times as the child wants until he is fully receptive to this experience.
Fully present for childrenIf your child is upset, spending time with him can make him feel more secure. Children find great comfort in routine and doing ordinary things together as a family may be the most effective form of healing.
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