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JAKARTA – Love that has not blossomed for a long time has many factors. But internally, the warm feeling can be maintained. Even those who are currently weakened, can take action to water and fertilize those feelings so that they bloom again.

Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, author, and researcher, says it's vital to lose feelings, because they're what make relationships strong. The security of the relationship between you and your partner, the key is also how you feel.

Firestone provides recommendations for proactive actions you can take to rekindle feelings of love in your partner, along with tips reported by Psychology Today, February 7th.

1. Resist a critical attitude

A critical attitude can invite assumptions, even distort your partner's actions so they look 'unattractive' to you. People tend to be highly critical, according to Firestone, because they project negative traits from a parent or caregiver onto their partner. So it tends to assume that your partner will act in the same way to hurt the past. Therefore they often read their partner's actions are always wrong.

If you want to stay in love, it's much better to pay attention to your critical inner voice and reject it. That doesn't mean living in a fantasy and ignoring your partner's true flaws, but trying to be compassionate and honest. The inner voice, according to Firestone, will warm your cold feelings.

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Illustration of how to fall in love again with a partner (Unsplash/Jakob Owens)
2. Treat your partner well

It sounds cliché, but kindness really does build good situations for loving each other. Research shows that taking more loving actions makes you feel more in love. In any interaction, including with your partner either personally or practically.

3. Take advantage of what you love about your partner

What you love and value in your partner are qualities you admire. The character of the partner you like also gives joy. For example, a Firestone colleague said he liked the way his husband played with the kids after a long day. Another example is how your partner doesn't judge when he says embarrassing things.

4. Do something new but not routine

When you fall in love for the first time, in some cases, you may openly tell your partner a lot. This really needs to be done. But to refresh the story in addition to the routine of fulfilling responsibilities, you can do new things so that you and your partner feel more alive.

5. Maintain and support the personal interests of you and your partner

Keep being yourself in the umbrella of love affairs. Because the qualities that make your partner fall in love with you and make you fall in love with your partner. So, big Firestone, never forget what it's like to be yourself.

6. Talk privately

Most couples have problems with communication, such as talking in circles and not talking about anything personal for long periods of time. If you experience this, try to take the time to talk about real things more deeply.

Ask about what your partner is thinking and feeling. According to Firestone, there is always something new to discover about each other, if you continue to show interest, you will still feel in love with each other.


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