When Oki Setiana Dewi's Lecture Is Considered Legalizing Domestic Violence

Oki Setiana Dewi, the content of his lecture is considered to legalize domestic violence. (Photo: Instagram/@okisetianadewi)

JAKARTA - The name of the actress and preacher Oki Setiana Dewi is currently the scorn of netizens, after the hashtag #KDRT trending on Twitter. His name appeared after a video uploaded from the Tiktok Oki account was uploaded by the @bijikambing account until it was watched 1.6 million times with thousands of netizens liking, retweeting and commenting on Oki's da'wah content.

On social media, in his lecture, Oki was considered to have condoned acts of domestic violence (KDRT) by husbands to wives in the packaging of soleha women, which made netizens angry and bullied him.

In the 1 minute, 47 second video, Oki tells about a wife in Jeddah who did not tell her that her husband had beaten her.

Twitter account @bijikambing which uploaded the video of Oki Setiana Dewi's lecture. (Twitter)

“There is a true story in Jeddah, a husband and wife were fighting. The husband was very angry at his wife and then the wife was beaten in the face. Then his wife wept. Suddenly the doorbell rang and it turned out that his wife's mother had come. Her husband from a distance was excited, afraid that his wife would complain. Oh Allah, my wife must have complained to my mother-in-law that she was beaten earlier," said Oki in his lecture about the example of a pious wife.

The wife's mother asked why she was crying, “Why my son, why are you crying, why are your eyes puffy?' His wife said, "Mom, Dad, Oh God, I was praying, I really miss Mom and Dad, I want to meet Mom and Dad, uh, my prayer is answered by God," said Oki, and concluded about the story. "So there is no need to tell the story. - a story that makes us vilify our own partner," said Oki at the end of the video.

In an instant the contents of the lecture raised a lot of criticism from the circles. net citizen ,@erichaaga. What do you mean by normalizing domestic violence? After all, if domestic violence is already a red flag, it's really bad. There is no justification whatsoever for someone to mess with .@zulfa_richa. Not more love but more arbitrarily. What if it goes on? Beaten wife. Not to mention if the child accidentally sees it, the more you think about what the parents saw, the father hitting the mother is normal

A young figure from Nahdlatul Ulama (NU) and a lecturer at Monash University Australia, Nadirsyah Hosen, made sharp comments on Twitter.

"Tell the ustadzah, if a husband beats his wife it's actually not a disgrace that must be covered by the wife. That's domestic violence. Have to report to the police. Stories like this actually make the wife forced to accept the behavior of her husband who is a jerk in the name of guarding her husband's disgrace. Your wife is not a boxing sansak woy!" tweeted Nadirsyah, who is usually called Gus Nadir.

Tsamara Amany Alatas is a female politician from the Indonesian Solidarity Party who currently serves as the Chairperson of the Indonesian Solidarity Party (PSI) DPP conveying her response to the video circulating on social media. Through his Instagram account, Tsamara criticized Oki's lecture.

"If a husband beats his wife, it's called domestic violence. It's a crime," he explained, Thursday, February 3, 2022.

According to this young politician, what Oki did included legalizing domestic violence.

"Please don't normalize violence in the name of covering up disgrace! A good marriage is loving, not one that encourages violence,"

Tsamara Amany Alatas with her husband, Ismail Fajrie Alatas. (Photo: Instagram/riomotret)

Quoting the words of Gus Nadir, although there are some husband's disgrace that should be covered up, they are only trivial and odd things.

"According to Gus Prof @nadirsyahhosen_official, the disgrace of a husband who must be covered by his wife likes to snore, likes to pick his nose, or is a MU fan. NOT domestic violence, friends!," he concluded.

Islam Forbids Domestic Violence

Islamic doctrine teaches that Muslims are prohibited from revealing the disgrace of their fellow brothers. The meaning of disgrace then experienced different interpretations by Muslims. Conflicts that occur in domestic life are considered a disgrace that should not be published. It is this paradigm that ultimately makes the ulama unable to provide solutions to the problem of domestic violence. Because many Muslims choose to hide the problem.

When a husband commits domestic violence, can his wife protest against it? Especially if you use a religious pretext even though the Prophet Muhammad never did it. The scholars agree that the law processes when a husband commits domestic violence to his wife, it is permissible, even it is recommended as a place to remind each other.

Imam Al-Ghazali in the book Al-Adab fi Din explains, one of the manners of a husband to his wife is not to do rude acts, both verbally and in action. Not only that, the husband also has the right to give his wife the space to express opinions or submit aspirations for the actions taken by her husband. Husbands are also advised not to always argue with their wives and instead need to respect their wives' opinions.

Illustration of domestic violence or domestic violence. (Photo: Shitterstock by Nixki)

From Iyas bin Abdillah bin Abdi Dzubab, Rasulullah SAW gave the command: do not hit women. But Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) reporting that many women were disobedient to their husbands."

"So the Prophet (SAW) gave lightening by allowing the blow. Then (as a result of the relief) many women came around the Prophet's family to complain about their husbands. So the Messenger of Allah reiterated: Has come around the family of Muhammad, many women complain about (the practice of beating) husbands, they are not good people among you."

This hadith was narrated by Imam Abu Dawud and Imam Ibn Majah. He explained that this hadith is one version that records the tension at the time of the Prophet Muhammad between the interests of men who want to control and discipline women and the interests of women who refuse to be the butt of men's violent practices against them.

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) forbade beatings, but the men objected not being able to discipline women. But then many women came to the Prophet and protested, the Prophet listened to their protests.

Based on this hadith, it is explained that both men and women can take lessons and lessons from what the Prophet decreed. Women also have the right to protection.

Islam has proven to be a progressive and modern religion that embraces the rights of every servant. In this case of domestic violence, the Prophet emphasized that the role of Islam is as a religion of goodness, benefit, and freedom from violence and evil. Thus, these values should actually be implemented by both men and women.