Psychologists Say, Don't Judge People Who Make Suicidal Thoughts

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JAKARTA - Being calm and not showing a judgmental attitude is important in responding to those closest to you who have suicidal thoughts, says psychologist Rininda Mutia from the Indonesian Association of Clinical Psychologists.

"We make sure we calm down first before we give any response to the person, don't panic because it is feared that something judgmental will come out," Rininda said as quoted by Antara, Sunday.

When the response that appears seems judgmental, it could be that the person in question actually closes himself off and is reluctant to talk, making it difficult to help him.

"What's the judgment like? 'Why do you want to kill yourself? That's a sin.' Wow, that's for sure he won't tell me," said the psychologist.

Start responding by asking how the person is doing, asking how he is in general as well as how he feels. He's not suggesting to ask bluntly about wanting to take their own life, but rather slowly getting them to want to express their feelings.

"When he has quite a lot of stories, then we mention it. 'I saw on your social media, you upload things like this, how do you feel?' just lead to it," he gave an example.

After that, you can ask what kind of help can be given to them. According to Rininda, it is important to ask them so they can feel better. Be patient before offering help. It's better to let the person express their thoughts, feelings and hopes.

"Let's not immediately 'attack' him with various aids. Even though his intentions are good, that's not necessarily what he expects," he explained.

He said, when thoughts of suicide arise, one must interact with other people. Generally, these thoughts arise when a person is alone, has nothing to do and feels empty.

If the person closest to you seems lonely, help by being with him or her. Maybe the thought arises because someone is feeling a serious problem that feels unbearable to the point that the pain wants to be eliminated through suicide.

Having a friend who cares and can help reduce the burden through support is important in eliminating suicidal ideation. When you know that you are not alone and someone is willing to help, you will feel that you can move forward even when you are in trouble. However, provide assistance according to the person's needs and wants.

"Don't be taboo about talking about suicide and don't be judgmental either, that's what's important."

Avoid motivational words that actually make us think about other people, not think about the feelings of that person. Such words made him feel that no one understood his feelings.

"Suicide is about him, yes, if we say 'look at your partner, your parents, your children and so on, it's like we are not thinking about him and he feels that someone else is paying attention to him."

Instead, focus on the person concerned, about what he feels, thinks and hopes.