We have seen a correlation between the level of readiness of couples to marry and the high rate of divorce through "Many Divorces because of Not Ready to Marry". In continuation of the Writing Series entitled "Marriage Today," we now look at how divorce affects belief in the institution of marriage. So, preparation is in fact important. Even for those who have just gotten out of a divorce.
In Indonesia, the divorce rate is high. Year after year, the numbers keep increasing. Looking at data from the Central Statistics Agency (BPS) in 2015, the divorce rate was recorded at 353,843. In 2016, the figure increased to 365,654. In 2018, the figure soared to 408,202. Unfortunately, young couples are often trapped in divorce situations.
We chatted with various experts and practitioners discussing this issue. The situation is getting clearer. If marriage is not an easy thing to deal with, then divorce is a very complicated matter to deal with. With the many conditions that occur, we again need to emphasize that self-readiness is a crucial factor, even for those who have just gotten out of a divorce.
In other words, it is very important for newly divorced couples to identify household problems that they previously had before entering into a new marriage. Of course, everyone has the right to the desired married life. However, for couples who have experienced divorce, introspection is a wise step that should not be missed.
"Failure was because of what? What did I do? Am I wrong? I should not find the same thing. If I find the same thing, what should I do so that divorce does not arise again. So it has to be studied in a long time, like must be analyzed, "said a psychologist from the University of Indonesia Rose Mini to VOI by telephone, Tuesday, December 17.
Legal practitioner Bayu Sinuraya agrees with Rose Mini's statement. As a lawyer who often handles divorce cases, Bayu sees that many marriages ending in divorce have undermined the belief in marriage institutions such as the Religious Courts and all the noble values that are upheld in a marriage.
"Legal practitioners cannot because (encouraging introspection) is outside the rights of practitioners. However, there has been a decline in trust in the institution of marriage. There is a lack of respect for the institution of marriage," Bayu told VOI, Wednesday, December 18.
Complicated process
Furthermore, Bayu explained the divorce process that each couple needs to go through. According to him, this process could actually be carried out without the help of a lawyer. It's just that many ordinary people do not understand the process of preparation for the trial so that many end up using their legal counsel to represent them.
Prior to undertaking their work, lawyers usually conduct interviews with their clients. This is important in preparation for filing legal material in a divorce suit. "We will interview, find as much information as possible. What basis did he file a lawsuit," said Bayu.
After obtaining information through interviews, the attorney will make a divorce suit and register the lawsuit in the area of domicile of the defendant. "Indeed, there are rules under which the lawsuit is filed, there are rules. After filing the lawsuit at the secretariat, you will get the case number and trial schedule," Bayu.
Furthermore, the litigants are required to be present at the trial. Yes, even though their presence was important, Bayu did not deny that many couples had decided not to attend the trial process. In the first trial, usually the litigants will undergo a mediation process with the judge as the mediator.
"The mediation process, he described, is the mediating judge who mediates the parties and tries to keep each party from getting divorced. In that sense, he does not go into the subject matter and tries to reconcile," said Bayu.
However, this process can be said to be a formality so that the trial process until the verdict can be carried out. It is nothing. According to Bayu's observations, the judge has never rejected the divorce suit that was filed.
"It is difficult for the judge to decide not to divorce. However, one of the couples no longer wants to share the same house. Even if it is not granted, after all, household life is not harmonious," said Bayu.
Custody and things like that
After divorce, conflicts often occur over child custody and property. Bayu explained that the process of distributing assets was usually carried out in two ways, namely by agreeing and filing a lawsuit again at the court after the judge ruled the divorce trial.
These gana-like assets are assets that are obtained after a couple gets married and lives together. "The assets can be joint assets in the form of assets and debts," he explained.
If this process is not submitted to the court, the decision to distribute which has been agreed by both parties must be registered with a notary for legal force.
Meanwhile, for the process of child custody, in Islam, usually the mother has the right to take care of a child who is not yet pubescent unless there are conditions that make the mother unable to take care of her child.
For example, if the mother is a drunkard or judged by various considerations as irresponsible, then the father gets custody of the child.
Regarding work, Bayu said that this matter did not really influence the consideration of giving custody. The reason is, from a legal point of view, a father is obliged to pay for the needs of the child even though the custody of the child falls to the mother.
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