In Order Not To Regret It Later, These Are Things That Must Be Reflected By Couples Before Getting Married

Illustration (Jasmine Carter / Pexels)

JAKARTA - Marriage is not only about contracts and parties, but it is a long journey that every couple must take. Everyone would want to get married once in a lifetime until death separates them.

Unfortunately, maintaining a marriage is not an easy thing. This is evident from the divorce cases in Indonesia which are increasing every year. As reported by VOI, Wednesday, March 3, Based on a report from the Ministry of Religion, as of August 2020 there were 306.688 divorce cases in Indonesia. While reports from several studies in several countries, nearly half of divorce cases are due to incompatibility.

Some of the causes are quarrels, finances, and domestic violence. For that, it is very important to prepare many things before deciding to get married. You and your partner can frequently have in-depth discussions about married life. It is not 100 percent guaranteed that the relationship will run smoothly, but at least if there are differences in views on crucial matters, it can be seen from the start.

Here are four discussions that must be carried out before deciding to marry a partner.

Residence

First, regarding the place of residence. Maybe before you get married you want to live anywhere with your partner. Still, the matter of residence must be carefully decided. Talk about living with your in-laws, renting, buying a house, or living in an apartment.

Make sure you find a middle ground on this problem. The reason is, this is quite crucial and if there is a difference in opinion, we can consider who will give in again.

Child

Child issues should also be discussed long before marriage. Start asking yourself and your partner, do you want children? If one chooses no, then what is the solution? Then what if one of you can't have a child, do you want to adopt a child, want to have a childless marriage, try the IVF program, or your partner will remarry with another person?

Not only that, but you also have to ask about how many children you want to have, about their upbringing, education, who will take care of them, whether your husband will help you from infancy, and whether you will have a special assistant for children.

Finance

Financial matters also need to be discussed at the beginning because if you are careless it can cause household problems that lead to divorce. Indeed, no one knows what your economic condition will be in the future. But at least the basics can be discussed. For example, who will manage finances, what your financial plans are, what about old age savings, household expenses, children's education costs, emergency funds, insurance, investment, and entertainment costs such as holidays or shopping.

Expectations about married life

Ask your partner to talk about life expectations after marriage. What are your plans when you guys get married? Does she want to have a wife who is always at home, not allowed to work, always cooks and cleans the house every day, prepares clothes, cannot have more income, must permit permission before traveling, and so on?

After hearing his statement, don't forget to ask yourself, are you sure you want to live like that? A good sign if both of your plans are the same. But, if you have differences, you can reconsider your relationship.