Why Do Children Lie? According To Experts, Here's How To Overcome It

Illustration of why children lie (Pexels/Anastasia Shuraeva)

JAKARTA – Many parents worry about their children when they lie. Maybe children lie to get what they want. In fact, they choose to lie to avoid trouble or get out of trouble.

Reported by the Child Mind Institute, Saturday, October 30, there are many factors that make children tell lies. Depending on what's going on, it's like he feels bad about himself so chooses to lie to look cool.

In other cases, depressed or anxious children may lie because they don't want others to worry. Sometimes children with ADHD just talk before they think. There is also lying because they feel like an adult so they have social reasons.

According to Matthew Rouse, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, one of the reasons children lie is because they have come up with a new idea and try it. Actually have the same process as they recognize the type of behavior and see what happens.

Another reason, according to Dr. Rouse, is that children tell hyperbolic lies to appear more impressive, special, and talented. This is done by children who lack self-confidence to increase their self-esteem.

So what should parents do when their children lie? Here's what Rouse and clinical psychologist Carol Brady, Ph.D., suggest:

1. Recognize what kind of lies children do

It's like doing an evaluation, Rouse said. There are no guidelines or suggestions for dealing with it quickly and hard because every lie has a different reason and impact.

2. Reprimand according to the impact

If you're lying to get attention, Rouse advises, it's best to ignore it. Instead of being harsh, Rouse recommends taking a gentle approach where parents don't always have consequences but don't try to give them much attention.

For example, if your child tells you that he has scored 10 goals and all his teammates depend on him to win. If it's a hoax, try to steer the conversation toward something more factual and what can be done.

It's also okay to give a light warning, such as by replying to the story with "Your story is like a fairy tale, but what really happened?"

For a lie that has an impact, for example, if he doesn't do his homework for a week, then give him a proper reprimand. Like cutting hours of playing outside the house, screen time, or playing games.

3. Give non-negotiable consequences

According to Rouse, lying will be easier when parents tell how big the consequences. The child should not think the consequences are negotiable. Because, he can be manipulative and not tell the truth.

4. Discuss with children

The problem of ignored lies is not over, but it can become a habit. This means that parents need to try to open a discussion with their children. Try to remain tactful when talking about the sentence that does not match the reality of what happened. But be firm so the child knows that lying is not good.

5. Don't label your child as a liar

Brady said it was a big mistake to call a child a liar. The hurt from that labeling can outweigh the impact of lying. The child may feel bad about himself and may actually develop a more sophisticated pattern of lying.