YOGYAKARTA - Talks about romantic relationships or marriage are often dominated by the theme of separation. Even couples who seem to be compatible often can't maintain the commitment that has been built. Chief Clinical Officer of Seeking Integrity, Robert B. Weiss, Ph.D. explained, the chance for newlyweds to maintain the integrity of the household for the next two decades, turns out to be only in the range of 50 percent. So what is the secret to building a lasting marriage?
"This means that half of married couples fail to survive. However, what we rarely hear is the opposite side, namely couples who remain together through the ups and downs," he explained on Psychology Today.
Weiss explained, there is a difference between couples who will last a long time, with couples whose marriages are at risk of failing halfway. For more details, see the review below.
The secret to building a lasting marriage Enjoying time and fun togetherThe most basic reason to stay in a bond is because it feels good in a relationship.
To make the marriage last, make sure you and your partner regularly fill in fun free time together, for example, doing hobbies and other activities together that are always fun and accompanied by laughter.
"Often, when a relationship is difficult, it's not because the spark has gone, but because the excitement has faded," explains Weiss.
Keeping the communication aliveHow intense are you chatting while still dating? The habit of calling each other and exchanging messages should not stop just because you are married or have children. Whatever the situation, try to always take time for two every day just to talk or maintain emotional ties. Make this routine something that cannot be disturbed.
Deal with disagreements with easeA conflict is certainly natural in a long-term relationship. However, the debate should not have to destroy the marriage. Most healthy couples realize, sometimes they have to "agree to disagree". Differences of opinion should not be allowed to linger until they transform into resentment.
"So, it doesn't matter if you and your partner don't always think alike, as long as you can disagree peacefully, at least most of the time," says Weiss.
Building trust through vulnerabilityTrust is certainly the most important element. When you both trust and protect each other, the foundation of the household will be very solid.
An effective step to maintain and deepen this feeling is to bravely show vulnerability to share needs without fear of judgment from a partner.
"Trust certainly begins with open and honest communication. That is, if you need emotional support or other types of support from your partner, you have to express it," said Weiss.
Have realistic expectationsOf course, no marriage is perfect. Healthy couples will be able to accept and respect each other fully.
You can still support your partner without having to give criticism. The willingness to fill each other's weaknesses is the real core of marriage.
"Both couples understand that no one can consistently fulfill the other person's fantasies of perfection. And that's okay," said Weiss.
If most of the time in your marriage shows some, or all, of the above, maybe you and your partner are quite happy in carrying it out.
If not, immediately recognize the various shortcomings that exist, then sit down with your partner to discuss further how this relationship will continue, improve the flow of communication, and support each other for the future of the family.
Respect each other's space and rolesEvery individual has the freedom to be themselves, including having personal friends and hobbies. Your personal development should be celebrated unconditionally.
According to Weiss, communication must always be open regarding changes in oneself or role sharing so that no party feels used.
"Most importantly, the contribution of each person to the household and family is seen as something special, meaningful, and needed," he said.
This is a review of the secrets to building a lasting marriage. Hopefully useful. Visit VOI.id for other interesting information.
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