6 How To Set Limits When Children Start Growing Up Adultly

Illustration of how to set boundaries when children begin to grow up (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA When children begin to grow up, parents need to set and agree on boundaries. What are the limits and how do you set these restrictions? Before listening to the full explanation, why is it important for parents to set boundaries because that way children can understand each other, respect each other, listen to each other, avoid unconstructive criticism, and for the common good. The following is an explanation of what boundaries need to be set and how.

There are a number of limits suggested by psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., among them as follows:

The above limits may be agreed differently on each family. It depends on the dynamics of the family. Bernstein reported by Psychology Today, Sunday, November 17, also provides a way of setting boundaries when children begin to grow up.

Children who have grown up, will be more independent and have the autonomy of their life choices. So parents need to respect their opinions, choices, and lifestyle. If there are differences in habits or behaviors that are deemed inappropriate, open the conversation with respect and remind them with full attention if they have differences in value.

Open and honest conversations, it's important to discuss and set boundaries. Convey your hopes as your parents and concerns while listening from their point of view. It should be realized that effective communication is the key to building mutual understanding.

Recognizing personal boundaries and what can be accepted or not, is important. That way, you can agree with your child who is starting to grow up. This is also the basis for setting financial boundaries, emotional engagement, personal space, and involvement in making decisions. In affirming your limits, be firm and consistent.

It is also important to respect your child's boundaries. Understand that they also have different needs, values, and priorities from you. Avoid judging or criticizing, and try to find a middle ground where both parties feel they are being listened to and respected.

It should be realized that everyone has made mistakes. Everyone has also failed. Set boundaries, as well as the learning process for your child and also for you. So, give space for children and you to grow and be active in navigating the dynamics that occur.

Maintaining welfare is very important when setting boundaries. Understand your own needs and prioritize self-care to avoid being overwhelmed or upset. That way, boundaries can be maintained with great respect for yourself. It is also useful to set an example for your child to do the same.

In addition to understanding how to set boundaries when children begin to grow up, it is also important to seek help if you find it difficult to establish it. Especially if you don't find a middle ground and conflict occurs.