About The Term Gaslighting And How To Overcome It

Illustration. (Photo: Unsplash)

JAKARTA - In recent days, the Twitter universe has been shocked by a thread in which a woman claims to have been manipulated by her partner who is someone who is quite well known. This behavior is called gaslighting. This word is known in psychological terms, namely manipulating someone so that the person becomes powerless with an emphasis on himself.

The word was first derived from the 1938 musical Gas Light and its film adaptations in 1940 and 1944 played by Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. This word is widely used in psychology and pop culture literature. In his story, the husband persuades his wife and wife to be lulled by little things that make him feel guilty and become delusional.

Not only in personal relationships, the phenomenon of gaslighting also occurs in work and other relationships. But in general, women often become victims of gaslighting because it's easier to get emotional about something. This is also seen from the thread where the woman thinks that she is the one who is wrong in the relationship. But that doesn't mean that men can't get it because everyone can feel it.

People who have a sociopath and narcissistic character usually use gaslighting tactics to become more frozen. This attitude leads to impaired mental health because it is difficult to grasp if he is often afflicted with guilt in a situation.

There are several signs that gaslighting is occurring in your relationship. Some of them are that you often feel confused and you often apologize. In addition, you often tolerate your partner's behavior if he or she is judged wrong by someone close to you and because of this, you are more likely to be weakened by your partner's attitude.

A simple example starts when the perpetrator usually uses verbal violence and calls it a joke and makes it natural to happen. Perpetrators also try to undermine it by suppressing the side of their thinking so that it makes them feel guilty.

Various ways can be done if you want to get out of gaslighting, namely confirming if the incident really happened and trying to remember what has happened both from attitude and conversation. After that, start thinking calmly about solving the problem with a short break from social media. Focus on feelings instead of calculating what's wrong and right.

Then, start voicing your problem to someone who can be trusted to help you. If it is difficult, professionals such as therapists and psychologists can be an alternative to save you.