It Doesn't Mean You Don't Love, These Are 5 Reasons It Is Difficult For Couples To Express Feelings
Illustration of a couple holding hands (Unsplash / AL)

JAKARTA - Expressing feelings is a way to build emotional bonds. However, not everyone can express feelings. It does not mean that you are not in love, but this condition must have some reason. Based on studies, some of the reasons below can answer your curiosity.

A clinical psychologist, Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. mentions that there is a difficult condition to recognize and express emotions Psychologically it is called alexithymia. Reporting from Elite Daily, Friday, March 5, does not mean that the person has no feelings or emotions.

They feel different levels of emotions but when it comes to recognizing them they fall into a very basic category of emotions.

For example, frustration or pressure can only be seen as a tense muscle, a tight head or difficulty concentrating. So they do not recognize their true feelings of depression but are identified as limited as physical problems.

Joseph Cilona, who works as a psychologist, also added that everyone has different reasons for hiding their feelings. Well, here are the reasons that people who find it difficult to express their feelings.

Her feelings are very sensitive

For most people, not expressing those feelings is considered a waste of time. But for people who don't say or express, maybe because their feelings are very sensitive. Even small problems are thought or felt.

When you have sensitive feelings, a person will feel tired because they have to deal with emotions all the time. So, he thought, it was best to say nothing.

Reveal with sarcasm

Clarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist and author of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, explains that a person chooses to avoid conflict. Including by keeping his feelings alone.

Silva notes that this type of person can use sarcasm to avoid conflict. Cilona added that negative emotions that make you anxious, such as anger, can make someone afraid to express them. Of course the reason is the same, because it can trigger conflict.

Fear of rejection

Couples rarely or never even express love? According to Cilona, sensitivity to rejection or neglect makes a person reluctant to express his feelings.

Maybe he has had bad experiences in the past that make it difficult to express his feelings.

kenapa sulit mengungkapkan perasaan
Illustration of a couple holding hands (Unsplash / Almos Bechtold)
Always be under control

Because they think they have to think rationally and need to control their emotions so they don't look weak, according to Silva, it can make someone not show their feelings.

When your partner experiences this, it means taking time to feel comfortable and believe that you are the most appropriate 'place' to express feelings.

Assuming the other person understands his feelings

Klapow said that one might expect to be understood by others. Someone like this, according to Klapow, is trying to choose the right words and moments to describe his feelings.

In closing, life in pairs needs balance. If your partner is not an expressive person, you can compensate for this with honest and open-minded communication.


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