6 Things Children Learn From Parental Divorce

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JAKARTA - Maintaining marriage for the sake of children is a good idea, right? This is the advice most people give when they know that their closest person is experiencing a household breakdown.

Unfortunately, this advice is no longer the golden rule that hinders a person's decision to part. Why? Because staying in a toxic marriage where you feel physically and emotionally abused by your partner is not healthy for you and your children.

When you or your partner is always in a negative, angry, or unhappy mood because of an unhealthy relationship, it's time to let it all go for the sake of your child and yourself happiness.

If you think that divorce has a negative impact on your child, by separating you will let go of all the negative things that might happen to your baby in the future and give him valuable lessons about your love life and your partner.

Quoted from Yourtango, Tuesday, March 2, here are 6 things children can learn from divorcing parents.

Learn to adapt to life changes

Actually, divorce does not harm children, but conflicts that occur between parents after divorce are detrimental and mental damage to children. If you stay on good terms with your ex, your child will likely be able to learn healthy adjustments about divorce.

As much as possible, don't drag your child into conflict between you and your post-divorce partner so that your child can adjust to life changes more easily.

The importance of openness

If you hide domestic conflicts because you don't want to hurt your children, then you are wrong. Children are very responsive and understand the differences that occur between parents.

If it is covered up, children will not feel at home so they choose to spend time outside with friends. So, instead of hiding the problem, it's good to study openly Although the truth is bitter, it's better than lying.

Reducing resentment

Choosing to stay in an unhealthy marriage can trigger a child to hate one of their parents. Continuous conflicts in the household do not rule out the possibility for children to judge who is the culprit for the destruction of family harmony.

If this happens, it's no wonder he will hate those who are considered wrong and choose to defend those who he think are right. In fact, children should not place hatred on both parents.

So, before the child already hates, you should take a separate step if you feel that the household is not okay. That way, the conflict will not widen and children can tolerate the decisions of their parents.

Learn to solve problems

When there is conflict, sometimes parents make children a place to vent. Over time, children feel that they are responsible for making mom or dad feel better by acting as a counselor. Accustomed to hearing the complaints of parents, makes children tougher and without realizing it, they learn little by little to be independent and be able to solve their own problems.

Be grateful for something even though it is no longer intact

Regardless of a relationship that has been unhappy for years, sometimes it can make someone feel relieved and excited to go through the day. Apart from you, children feel the same way. He can return to feel your complete attention, without feeling divided by the negative things that you experienced when you were married. Even though he is no longer intact, at least he still feels the full attention of the two parents separately.

Understand what it means to let go

From a parent's divorce, children can better understand what it means to let go. You set the example that it is okay to give up what is untenable. This helps children understand that sometimes letting go can be the healthiest thing for all parties involved.

Making the decision to end a marriage is not an easy decision, especially if it involves children, but there are positive benefits for you and your child.