Selfish To Childhood Trauma, This Is Another Reason Why Men Choose Cheating
Illustration of an Cheating Man (Rodnae Production / Pexels)

JAKARTA - Men who cheat will always have a reason why he did this. Whether it's considered not cheating or blaming the surrounding environment so that an affair can occur.

As recently, the public was shocked by the news of an affair between the vocalist of the religious band, Sabyan, Nissa Sabyan, and his keyboardist Ayus Fairuz. The news of this affair led to the collapse of Ayus's household because his wife was sued for divorce.

Actually, what are the reasons that cause men to be unfaithful to their partners and choose the way of cheating?

Quoting Psychologytoday, Friday, February 19, a therapist reveals the main reason because cheating is a way out of relationship problems and life problems they are facing at that time.

When faced with the problem of adultery, generally men will look for justification for their actions and begin to scapegoat the things around them. For example, blaming a stressful job at the office, an unsatisfactory partner at home, and / or thinking this is normal because biologically men want sex from as many women as they can get.

There are also those who think what they are doing is not cheating, just because it happened once, like going to a club or having fun together. Also, sexting and flirting are considered commonplace.

If these assumptions are left unchecked, over time they will lead to serious infidelity. Then, why did they do it? There are many factors. Here are some reasons why men cheat:

Lack of commitment and immature mindset

Lack of commitment and a childish mindset are the reasons men cheat. The little experience they have about committing themselves in a relationship makes it difficult to understand the meaning of commitment itself. An immature mindset made him think that commitment could be broken whenever he liked and wanted.

Not confident

The reason a man has an affair could be because he feels inferior to himself. Whether it's because you're not rich, not handsome, too old, too young. This is common in middle aged men. He will seek justification from other people or other women around him who make him feel wanted and considered attractive.


One of the reasons and most likely a man cheating on his partner. Rather than sacrificing himself to commit to just one person, he prefers to flirt with as many people as he wants. Then make up a fake story to cover it up, without guilt.

Reality does not match expectations

The reason a man cheats could be because he has too high expectations on his partner. When expectations do not match reality, men will be vulnerable to disappointment and choose to cheat. Whether it's expectations on appearance, sexuality, to attitudes and traits.

Childhood trauma

The existence of childhood trauma that has not been treated can cause men to cheat. Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse experienced as a child can carry over into adulthood. These traumas made him afraid to commit to only one partner so he chose an affair to treat old wounds.

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