Nobody expects divorce when they get married. Good prayers are pinned for sacred bonds of love as husband and wife. Likewise, when Jane Shalimar decided to accept Arsya Wijaya's application first. Jane admitted that she was fascinated by Arsya's seriousness at the beginning of their meeting. "At first he was a very kind person, caring, I was also introduced to his family all. He was a young child, I was close to all of his siblings. From the beginning I knew him until finally I was invited to know him, he was only 2-3 months. religion, "said Jane Shalimar when met exclusively by the VOI team at her residence in Pejaten, South Jakarta.
Arsya's closeness to her only son, Muhammad Zarno, became Jane's reason to marry. According to the woman who was born on June 2, 1980, she saw Arsya's approach to Zarno as good. "The relationship is close, there is an effort to approach the child. What we see is how close he is to the child. Because the child is ok, finally I decided to accept the invitation to marry," he explained. Apart from Zarno, Arsya at that time also approached Mr. Jane's family to properly ask for the rights of guardian.
Like newlyweds, Jane felt that her marriage was fine in the beginning. In fact, she is willing to move to live in Bandung to serve her husband. "Since October, everything has been going on normally, if I go to Jakarta, I will meet my aunt. Because it is more comfortable in Bandung, I rarely stay in Jakarta for a long time and go around. So if there is work that requires me to stay in Jakarta, I am alone," he explained.
While preparing to get married legally, Jane began to feel odd things. One of them is the transfer of the venue plan from Bandung to Karawang two weeks before the event. "In February we were mostly in Kerawang. At first I asked to get married in Bandung, because there are many families in Bandung. Suddenly D-14 he decided to move to Karawang because according to him in Karawang it is closer to Jakarta so that the family can back and forth, "he said.
Of course, Jane had to reconfigure all the requirements for marriage. "I already submitted a marriage certificate in Bandung, finally moved to Karawang. All documents are complete and I left them with him. Approaching the D-day we have prepared everything and the wedding will take place on February 20, 2020," he explained.
Indeed, from the beginning the marriage could not be officially registered because it had to wait for a divorce certificate from the court to change its status on the KTP. "I don't know if the address or what has been changed. He said it would be taken care of. Yes, I just believe it," said Jane.
Actually, when the day of the event was over, the leader said the marriage book had not been taken care of. "He said the marriage book was a formality first. I thought it was really tight for two weeks," he recalled.
After the marriage passed, Jane actually always reminded her to take care of the KTP because she wanted to take care of a new family card. However, it always spelled out that my documents were incomplete. "I asked for what I was missing, let me complete but didn't answer. He always returned my incomplete documents, so the marriage certificate didn't come out. When all the problems rolled last he said the documents would be taken care of themselves. I don't understand what it means to be taken care of myself, because of the KTP right? "It has to be taken care of in Bandung, not in Karawang. The reason for wanting to make a new KTP is that the old KTP has been cut," he said.
As if struck by lightning in broad daylight, Jane knew her marriage was not legally registered from the media. Moreover, Jane was intending to file a divorce suit at that time. But the reality is that those who want to be sued are never legally registered.
"When I wanted to enter the lawsuit, I asked for a marriage book. I was shocked when I found out that I wasn't registered because when I took care of all the letters I accompanied them to several places. The lawyer team was confused because the person was hard to find. Asked why the marriage book registration number didn't exist, there was no explanation. Until I asked a lawyer in Bandung to check my marriage certificate. Apparently he immediately coordinated with Bang Ramdan, I just told him yesterday. When I was relaxing, suddenly my friend sent a video description of the Karawang KUA employees. Told us that our marriage was not registered, " he said.
At first, Jane thought the news was wrong. "Apparently the problem is his KTP, even though he said I was the one with the problem," he complained.
Not wanting to think much, Jane thinks this is an easy way to break up a marriage which she considers no longer a positive impact. "I asked him, he said religiously it had been broken since October with three counters. When I checked yesterday, the KUA officer said that because it was not registered, there was no need to file a lawsuit in court," he said.
Not wanting to talk about the disgrace of her ex-husband, Jane Shalimar chose to move on. Although many condemned her like being married and divorced, Jane didn't bother. The most important thing is that the family and friends understand that this is not his wish.
"I still think that nobody wants to divorce in anyone's marriage. Likewise me. But if we are constantly in a household environment that is not healthy and cannot be repaired, living together at home but communication can be counted on fingers being more busy with cellphones. "It was toxic. If I asked to change my impression I kept demanding, so after the third divorce, the hope is that women want to be picked up and taken care of, show me their efforts to maintain it," said Jane.
In the end, her household problems became public consumption because of Arsya Wijaya's upload that said Jane had disappeared, she tried to fix it. "Until I returned to Bandung to discuss this matter, asked for mediation from relatives. But what was done was instead sending messages to my friends, saying I was missing. People were confused. He used to vent his emotions with status on social media, and people. He thought he was referring to his wife. My aunt said to help me if there is a problem don't complain everywhere, she said yes, my way was wrong. Eh, but I did it again. Yes, why have I maintained it? " he explained.
Jane felt lucky that she didn't need to give her son a detailed explanation. Arsya's change in attitude made Zarno understand why his mother had decided to divorce.
"Explaining to that child does not need special words. Because after marriage his attitude changes after marriage. If you meet a child you don't reprimand, showing that if you don't like it, it feels like you don't like it. He knows something happened between us when I lived in Jakarta. , "he said.
Zarno's last meeting with Arsya was no longer smooth. Arsya chose to avoid Zarno at that time. Plus Arsya was angry for no apparent reason.
"He was angry to the point of slamming a glass in front of my son. Even though I was never angry like that in front of his son. Zarno said goodbye to Jakarta because he didn't want to be the cause of his father's problem. Try to imagine how he felt to be a mother?" said Jane.
Jane openly said because there was a problem, apologized because Zarno had to deal with a situation like this. "He said it's okay, as long as you're happy I'm happy. I don't want you to be sad," he said.
Now, Jane Shalimar is back on her feet. She accepted her destiny to return to widowhood. "Everything has a silver lining, we don't want to be taken back too much. I don't have to take care of this court more easily," he explained.
Family support also strengthens him. "I tried to survive and forgive but what got worse. After I explained it to my family, they gave it to me. They said that if you lift a load that can't be carried away, let it go. Because if you force it, I'll be damaged," he recalled.
This problem made him more mature in thinking. "I don't want to be provoked into polemics. I prefer to do self-treatment. I calm myself, be provoked like anything so that I will be angry with me. I just turn to Allah, I think there are still many who love me. My family and my friends. my year so there is no need for clarification, "he said.
Jane is grateful for the many support and friendship that has been established with friends who feel sympathy for her. Future matchmaking affairs Jane Shalimar take it easy.
"I leave everything to Allah, I want work, happy, sad I complained to Allah. I am sure this all will not happen if God is not sure I can handle it. When I fail I beg forgiveness from Allah. If I say I am married to divorce I say no. someone wants this to happen. I am focused on managing my future. I want to go to college again, want to focus on my child, "he concluded.
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