YOGYAKARTA Differences in arguments that can trigger conflict in relationships are natural to experience. But if differences in arguments that don't get a solution, it may need to be questioned. One aspect that contributes to the resolution of the problem, is to communicate. When one of the partners is passive-aggressive, it then contributes to the neglect of the problem and tends to harbor feelings.

Picotherapist Anita Ashley, LMFT., a passive-aggressive person does not directly express negative thoughts and feelings and does not directly say things that do not match what they do. It may seem to silence someone when annoyed with him, instead of handling the problem. Sometimes also agree to do something but don't follow up. Or give praise to someone and then follow up with something otherwise.

Positive-aggressive behavior, driven by motivation to suppress anger, makes it difficult to recognize passive aggression. According to Ashley, this behavior is often experienced due to childhood abuse. When expressing negative feelings and thoughts is considered not acceptable, it is restrained early on by those experiencing it. Tania DeBarros' psychotherapist, LICSW., adds. If someone doesn't believe that her feelings are important, it seems useless to reveal to others. In detail, here are five signs of someone who has passive-aggressive behavior.

Maintaining a relationship with anger is often considered to play an antagonist role. But holding back anger feels pressing and triggers something worse. Those who behave passively-aggressively, have almost no experience with anger or annoyance. They publish the experience in other ways.

Those of you who have a habit of holding back your feelings can more easily show passive aggression to others than you yourself. For example, close friends or loved ones know your habits very well. If other people accuse you of being convoluted, it is an indicator of passive-aggressive behavior. This means that if it is complicated, it is pressing feelings and if the confrontation is more expressive, it expresses feelings.

One of the most recognizable signs, passive-aggressive behavior often says things that are not the point. In any context, this behavior aims to avoid conflict.

In an argument, if you use your feelings to express your feelings, it can be a sign of passive-aggressive behavior. Although not all are about turning the conversation, if you use it when you are annoyed and have a difficult conversation, it marks a passive-aggressive behavior.

If you feel frustrated by someone's lack of understanding before explaining how you feel, you are most likely to be passive-aggressive, explains DeBarros as quoted by Well and Good, Friday, December 2. The hope that your loved ones can read your mind is a sure path to miscommunication.

Experts recommend how to overcome passive-aggressive behavior and express feelings of annoyance or productive anger. How, by acknowledging that you have such feelings. Identification of feelings using words of feelings, such as nervousness, passion, happiness, fatigue, annoyance, and others. After that, tell yourself that you are okay to feel and have negative thoughts. Then communicate effectively to the triggering subject.


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