YOGYAKARTA – It is not easy for children to open up to their parents about the difficult times they are going through. For example, when they enter a new environment, this of course requires their toughness in adapting to new friends. Instead of supporting them not to learn from negative experiences, it is better to support them in gaining wisdom and strategies to overcome challenges.
According to Rebecca Roland, Ed.D., a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and a specialist in the Neurology Department of Boston Children's Hospital, there are more than 20 years of research proving that past memories are linked to children learning to be compassionate and reflective. Supporting this achievement are trained mothers. How to? Here, Roland lays out the list.
1. Help label feelingsLaunching Psychology Today, Friday, July 22, sad, angry, afraid are labels used to describe feelings. By teaching or talking about feelings, especially negative ones, parents can help their children navigate the complexities of events and understand their own coping strategies.
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It is important for parents and children to talk about each other's feelings. It is even necessary to occasionally invite children to know other people's emotions. For example, 'I'm anxious' or 'Are you nervous?'. In addition, parents need to elaborate on their children's emotions, for example 'Are you more anxious, or more embarrassed?'. That way, parents can confirm what you perceive to be their emotions.
3. Give an explanation for the feelingThis is about causation or causality, namely what events can explain the feelings experienced by the child. For example, 'You're angry because dad took your toy' or 'I'm sad that we have to move'.
4. Use specific and rich sensory detailsUsing specific details, helps children to compose language just when they are experiencing certain emotions. For example, 'The dentist's chair is cold, I'm scared', or 'The wind on the playing field is blowing hard, making me feel cold and nervous'.
5. Confirming how the children feelBy confirming, it means that parents accept and understand the child's emotions triggered by certain challenging situations. Of course for them it is not easy, therefore confirming their feelings is a form of support to get strategies to overcome challenges and wisdom.
Rebecca messages, after talking about the difficult experiences that children go through, parents can ask about 'how do you show your strength?' or 'what do you want to try next time' to stay optimistic and focused through any challenges.
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