7 Reasons Children Lie, Parents Must Understand

Illustration of reasons for lying and detecting children's lies (iStockphoto)

YOGYAKARTA - Lying exists in every culture. In children, they develop certain 'skills' when lying. Such as planning, interpreting social norms, to control semantically false statements made. In some ways, these skills are good things for child development, reported Parenting For Brain, Thursday, July 21.

Theoretically about the mind, people understand that other people have different mental states because they are formed from different realities. Therefore, parents need to understand the mental states and realities that encourage children when they lie. Here, there are 7 reasons why children lie.

1. To avoid punishment

In children, lying can be influenced by how they perceive negative consequences. If by lying they don't get punished, then they get positive consequences from statements that don't match reality. Perhaps by lying they hope to avoid harsh punishment, such as being hit or warned by a parent.

Given this reason, it means that parents need to weigh the punishment given to their children. Furthermore, try to understand what situations children avoid in which they lie.

Illustration of reasons for lying and detecting children's lies (iStockphoto)

2.Children lie to explore possibilities

This second reason, has to do with the truth that the children are exploring. When they tell lies, they try to find out the truth from different angles. Perhaps, they were telling these lies out of curiosity or for fun.

3. Save self-esteem

For example, they lie about achievements and accomplishments. It is driven to achieve a higher status or to save self-esteem by boasting or exaggerating achievements.

4. To get attention

Lies that are expressed openly, aiming to get attention. When children lie explicitly, they know they will get attention even though others know the truth.

Illustration of reasons for lying and detecting children's lies (iStockphoto)

5. They confuse imagination and reality

Deliberate lying is committed when a child makes a false statement with the intention of creating a false belief in another person. But sometimes, they think that fantasy is real life so they unknowingly lie. When the child lies, parents need to help straighten it out. Maybe they are confused about fantasy or trying to keep a secret.

Keep in mind, fantasy lies contain elements of the imaginary world. Usually, these elements are to blame or serve what is desired.

6. Lying to be known more friendly

From an early age, children are taught not to lie. But in certain social situations, they are taught explicitly or implicitly not to tell the truth out loud. These are called white lies, which are done to maintain decency. For example, when children receive gifts they do not want. They lie to adults by pretending to like them.

In fact, children as young as 3 years old, without their parents realizing it, can already lie to avoid hurting other people's feelings. For example, a child believes that admitting mistakes will disappoint his parents, so it is possible to hide the truth.

7. Lying to protect others

Called altruistic lying, a child may lie to protect others, such as peers or parents. They may not have been explicitly asked to, but feel that they should do so to help.

In one study, found that lying increases with age. Older children were better able to defend the lie when they were asked follow-up questions. This of course cannot be changed overnight. However, parents can try certain steps to prevent the pattern of lying from repeating itself.