Want To Make Love With Someone Other Than A Partner, This Is The Reason According To Experts

Fantasy illustration of having sex with someone other than your partner (Freepik)

YOGYAKARTA – Sexual fantasies need to be communicated with partners. This is a way of maintaining an intimate relationship with your partner. But what if you have fantasies about making love to someone other than your partner?

There may be a feeling of guilt when it suddenly crosses your head. According to Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, diplomat in sex therapy, author, and lecturer, it's not the fantasy of having sex with someone other than your partner, but what you're doing that matters. You may love your partner, but why do these fantasies just appear.

As a professional therapist, Brandon hears the story of this case from a number of his patients. Sexual longing, Brandon calls it, is a complex situation. If understood to the root, there may be a problem that was not noticed before.

A lot of things happen in a couple relationship. This affects interest in sexual intercourse. Brandon explains some of the causes of the emergence of fantasies of making love with people other than partners reported by Psychology Today, this may be experienced.

Fantasy illustration of having sex with someone other than a partner (Freepik/Jcomp)

Consider your partner less attractive

One of the driving forces behind the importance of positive sexual communication is telling the truth about what, who, and how intimacy is needed and excites each other. Brandon explained, actually missing someone other than your partner may be meaningless as long as you are committed.

Sexual subconscious

As primates, humans have sexual predispositions that have been passed down over thousands of years of evolution. Sexual attraction to a partner is one example. Brandon asserts that the desire to make love to other people may not mean anything, just how reproduction works in humans.

The part of the brain that influences sexual behavior

Evolutionarily, there are parts of the brain that are more ancient and affect human sexual instincts. This fact is also one of the reasons why pornography can be so attractive to satisfy our sexual instincts.

There is also a part of the brain that works so that you feel guilty, ashamed, and criticize these desires. Apart from being driven by love for a partner, modern thought also does not support the ancient working of the brain.

Desire to be present for a while

As Brandon stated above, what needs to be considered from the fantasy of making love with other people is what to do so as not to destroy the relationship. Brandon suggests, because this fantasy is present temporarily, it is necessary for a partner's creativity to increase the energy of love in the relationship.

For example, do something with a partner to increase passion. Offer new things related to intimacy with your partner. Avoid doing the same thing without freshness to keep the fire of passion burning.

Be open to your partner about something you want to try. Since warm intimacy is like teamwork, there is no improvement in staying silent without communicating the sexual aspect in a positive way.