Is It Necessary To Tell A Prospective Husband About His Virginity Status Before Marriage?

Illustration (Clay Banks/Unsplash)

JAKARTA - Having sex before marriage is no longer a taboo thing for teenagers today. Behind the pleasure that is felt, there is an unconscious risk lurking. Call it unwanted pregnancy, venereal disease, and psychological illness when a relationship is threatened with failure, especially for women. The loss of virginity in premarital sex can make women lose confidence. These reasons become a strong foundation why sexual relations before marriage are not permitted.

So, what if it is already and the relationship ran aground? It feels like it's useless. But don't get discouraged. Immediately repent and promise not to do it again. Not for others, but for your own good.

Even when you marry someone else, you must be careful about discussing this sensitive issue. It's a good idea to try to discuss it before marriage so that there are no disappointments after marriage. You don't have to be honest and open. Try to find out what your partner thinks about the importance of virginity. Would he regret marrying a non-virgin wife? Hearing the answer, surely you can decide to continue the relationship or not.

If you want to discuss, speak in a relaxed state. If necessary, also ask your partner's virginity status so that you are more comfortable continuing the relationship. Ask questions about the values your partner believes in virginity. Talk about norms in society in general first, then ask about the social patterns of potential partners.

From the response, you will know whether the potential husband will be offended or willing to open up about his virginity. So that the atmosphere is not complicated, avoid interrogative questions. Create a comfortable atmosphere with your partner before having a dialogue. Also raise a discussion about the myths about virginity with a potential partner. Like the assumption of a virgin or not, the wife can be seen from the presence or absence of blood stains on the first night's relationship or by looking at the way the couple walks to guess their virginity.

In fact, virginity is not a sign that someone has had sexual intercourse. The bloodstain is believed to be the blood of a ruptured hymen. In fact, there are different hymen in a woman.

Some are fragile, some are strong. For example, there is a woman who falls from a horse, then her hymen or hymen is torn. There are also those who have had sex many times, but the hymen is still intact. So not always the first sex must bleed. This can't be a sign. So that the blood that appears due to the rupture of the hymen is not always present in the first sexual intercourse. By knowing the facts, maybe the couple will not be disappointed when they find signs of virginity on the first night. So you don't have to talk about the past.

Actually, a virgin or not when married is not a benchmark for marriage. The main task of the family is to meet the physical, spiritual, and social needs of family members, including the care and maintenance of children, guidance for the development of the child's personality, and meeting the emotional needs of family members.

Remember, marriage is not only about sexual relations. Although important, there are other factors that are more important to achieve family harmony, namely inner and outer comfort with a partner.