Why Do People Ghosting? Here Are 5 Reasons

Illustration of why people ghost (Unsplash/Aleksandra Sapozhnikova)

JAKARTA – The term ghosting is used to refer to someone who ends a short-term relationship without explanation and then disappears without a trace. For those who are being ghosted, it is certainly annoying, especially since they have sown the seeds of feelings for more than a brief encounter.

But apparently, ghosting has become a popular topic for researchers, especially those who study the topic of social relations and psychology. Quoting from the writings of Theresa DiDonato, Ph.D., a social psychologist and professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland, ghosting for many people is a reasonable choice. Reported by Psychology Today, Thursday, December 2, ghosting is the most peaceful way to end a relationship, especially in today's digital era.

Based on estimates by LeFebvre, et al. In the 2019 study Ghosting in emerging adults' romantic relationships, 60-70 percent of adults were ghosted. Generally this 'disappearing like a ghost' is characterized by low commitment and closeness as well.

Professor DiDonato identifies the reasons people ghost. Although everyone has their own reasons for disappearing, but here are the reasons behind someone ghosting.

1. More comfortable

For those who are being ghosted, it is certainly disturbing, but ghosters sometimes have other things that are more priority. Direct conversations to end a relationship are often seen as consuming energy, time, and requiring emotional management. Then do ghosting to make it easier.

2. Interest decreases

Boredom, decreased attraction, loss of interest, and decreased romantic attraction can all be reasons people are ghosting. According to them, retreating early without much effort was the most sensible way.

3. Don't want to interact

Disappears, sometimes as a result of feeling offended. People sometimes make other people's feelings go from attraction to rejection, even though they don't mean to hurt them so much. But initially interested can turn into dislike so choose a new idea to end the relationship, namely by ghosting.

4. Considering safety

It could be that disappearing without explanation is a strategy to ensure personal safety. Although it may seem selfish and irresponsible, people may change their minds and withdraw from the relationship.

5. Relationships are considered less favorable

This reason feels so calculative, because of the consideration of profit. But for someone ghosting, this could be an excuse. When it feels unsuitable or have other things that are more beneficial, rather than hurting, they prefer to disappear without explanation.

Well, narcissism according to DiDonato's review, refers to an increased sense of self. They tend to use other people for their own social status or other benefits. According to him, narcissists prefer ghosting over other, more empathetic ways to the person being ghosted.

Referring to The Dark Triad of Machiavellianism, those who are narcissistic tend to be manipulative, selfish, and play positions. Although there are other factors that are complex in judging the basic aspects of someone who is ghosting, it is advisable to place expectations about love appropriately.

Not every ghosting behavior is negative, it could be because they are busy or not interested in talking. DiDonato added, maybe the ghosting perpetrator is not heartless, but is still considering a more appropriate way to end the relationship.