JAKARTA – Too hard on yourself often makes you tired quickly so it takes a long time to complete a task. Usually, perfectionists are prone to being hard on themselves.

Too hard on yourself is also uncomfortable. Because every time you step you are haunted by a reluctance to choose. Reported by Psychology Today, Monday, November 22, here are the signs someone is too hard on themselves.

Like to blame myself

Small mistakes can be a streak of regret for someone who is hard on themselves. For example, usually check the freshness of the fruit but one time did not do it and got a rotten avocado.

Keep criticizing yourself after making a mistake

Misrepresenting an email, for example, can trigger a barrage of self-criticism. According to Alice Boyes, Ph.D., social psychologist, mistakes are sometimes healthy because they motivate themselves to correct mistakes. So, after making an unintentional mistake, allow yourself to get on with the task of getting better at fixing the error.

Never prioritizing personal needs

Personal needs need to be a priority in addition to completing responsibilities at work. When you ignore your personal needs in favor of something else, it could be a sign that you are being too hard on yourself.

For example, when you are tired and need a massage to make the body more comfortable, at the same time, tasks are present to bury the body's needs. Boyes advice, pay special attention when you continue to neglect self-care. Because, without fitness and health, other tasks cannot be completed satisfactorily.

Bad treatment of others is considered one's own fault

Getting mistreated by others is not always your fault. It could be, says Boyes, a matter of communication that doesn't work so you get angry and take it out on yourself.

Boyes advice, find a middle ground and share responsibilities with partners. In addition, change the pattern of communication so as not to pile up and blame yourself.

Extra work

Working harder is admirable, but going on and on without taking a break can be exhausting. If you drain your energy just to work without paying attention to yourself, for example with relaxation and rest, there are likely to be negative consequences. So identify your needs, suggests Boyes. Don't be in denial, and take a break if you're tired.

Feeling like a failure

People who are self-critical, see life is never perfect. Yet what they did was actually not as bad as he thought. When you feel this way, Boyes suggests asking yourself what your life is like in the eyes of others.

The spirit and what other people feel from the tasks you have completed, can be a reference to be better at yourself.

Forgiving others but not forgiving yourself

Everyone makes mistakes, it's a necessity that needs to be accepted, forgiven, and corrected. But if you forgive other people's mistakes but don't forgive your own mistakes, it could be a sign that you are being too hard on yourself.

If you have the above attitude, reduce self-criticism. This can help you make better decisions and waste less energy on emotional exhaustion.


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