Writing New Year's Resolutions Is a More Real Form of Self Love

Writing a new year's resolution has become an annual ritual for many people. At the end of the year, paper, mobile phone notes, and social media posts are filled with lists of hopes and life goals to be achieved in the next year.

For some, resolutions are a symbol of a fresh start, while for others they trigger stress because of the shadow of failure in the previous year.

Clinical psychologist at Personal Growth, Phoebe Ramadina, M.Psi., Psychologist, reminds that resolutions should not be understood as a harsh demand on oneself. According to him, the ideal resolution actually starts from a loving attitude towards oneself by setting realistic and capacity-appropriate steps.

"Start with small, realistic steps, focus on the process, and appreciate every little progress," said Phoebe as quoted by ANTARA.

He assessed that many people are often stuck making resolutions that are too general, too high, or even too many at once. As a result, the resolution feels burdensome from the start and is difficult to implement consistently.

In the process of drafting the resolution, Phoebe also emphasized the importance of adjusting the target to life values and personal conditions. He reminded not to compare one's achievements with others, because each individual has a different rhythm, challenges, and resources.

"Healthy resolutions should be specific, clear, measurable, and can be done gradually. Resolutions also need to be relevant to our emotional needs and current life situations, not just follow other people's standards," said the psychologist from the University of Indonesia.

"Measurable and clear resolutions," he continued, "help the brain build new habits because the target feels more reasonable and does not cause fear. With a gradual approach, resolutions are also more likely to be carried out with a positive feeling, not pressure.

Phoebe also emphasized that the resolutions that were not achieved in the previous year were not a sign of failure. It can actually be a signal of certain factors that need to be evaluated, such as less realistic targets, changes in living conditions, or physical and emotional fatigue that has not been taken into account.

"The most important thing is to reflect, not to judge yourself. We need to ask ourselves honestly about what obstacles arise, then adjust the target to better suit our capacity. This attitude helps us learn from experience, and not drown in guilt," he explained.

Furthermore, Phoebe emphasized that annual resolutions do not always have to be fully achieved. When resolutions are not realized, it does not automatically make a person a failed or worthless person. It could be that someone is experiencing growth, changing priorities, or becoming more aware of their limits.

According to him, the healthiest resolution is the one positioned as a tool for reflection and pointing out the direction of self-growth, not a rigid contract that must be fulfilled without considering the dynamics of life.