Parenting Expert Reveals Fatal Mistakes Parents Make in Educating Children's Emotions

JAKARTA - Most parents must have felt frustrated when their children suddenly burst into emotion in public places. However, many parents are too quick to reprimand their children's behavior without paying attention to what they are really feeling.

According to parenting expert Reem Raouda, this can actually hinder the development of a child's emotional intelligence.

"Focus only on the child's behavior, especially bad behavior, without tracing and acknowledging their emotions is a common mistake of parents that hinders the child's ability to develop emotional intelligence," said Raouda, author and certified conscious parenting coach, quoted from the CNBC Make It page.

Raouda emphasized the importance of parents paying more attention to their children's emotional well-being than just their behavior.

"Stop focusing on their behavior and start focusing on their well-being. Children are not robots, and their emotions are often ignored, considered trivial, or even punished," he said.

Experts believe emotional intelligence is closely related to success, as this ability helps a person manage stress, anxiety, and potential depression.

"Your emotional well-being is your success," Raouda said.

He added that parents who ignore their children's emotional development risk raising unhappy children, even if they are materially successful.

Nevertheless, parents still need to set limits, especially when a child's emotional outburst harms others. Children also need to be reassured that feelings, both positive and negative, are normal and expressing them in a healthy way is normal.

"The focus is not on making them feel guilty for being angry and not on telling them to be cheerful when they are sad. Let them feel their emotions, that's number one," Raouda added.

One of the recommended ways is to help children name the emotions they feel. For example, ask what makes them angry, frustrated, or sad, and help assess how big the feeling is. This exercise helps children learn to recognize and manage their emotions.

Psychologist Caroline Fleck added that children who feel heard and not shamed for their feelings tend to be more open to avoiding negative behaviors.

"The important thing is to acknowledge the emotions first, then focus on what is not right, namely the behavior and that is what needs to be changed," said Fleck.

Raouda also emphasized the importance of parents setting an example in managing emotions.

"When parents are feeling emotions, tell the child, 'I'm sad, I'm upset. Naming it removes the negative stigma. These feelings are normal, healthy, and it's okay,'" he explained.

By paying attention to the emotional well-being of the child, parents not only educate good behavior but also help the child develop emotional intelligence that will be useful throughout life.