It Turns Out That It Can Also Be Useful, This Is An Advantage Of Having A Healthy Shame In Everyday Life

JAKARTA - Shame is often considered a burden, a painful emotion that makes you feel small, failed, or inappropriate. However, what if 'harm' can be a force, not just a burden that guides you to be a wiser, responsible, and empathetic person?

Launching Psychology Today, Tuesday, December 2, psychologist Bret Lyon and his colleague Sheila Rubin invites you to look at the other side of shame, a natural emotion that if managed healthily can enrich your life and relationship.

When shame is divided as something 'toxic' or continuously demeaning, it turns into a so-called 'toxic shame' that makes you trapped in endless self-criticism, freezes in a sense of lack and failure, and finds it difficult to accept what it is. However, shame doesn't have to be like that. There is another form: 'healthy shame' is shame that actually helps you stay connected to others, be aware of the impact of your behavior, and encourage it to be better.

'It's too healthy' to have many invisible gifts. This feeling teaches you to love yourself or self-compassion, so you can accept your shortcomings without over judgeing, and give space to grow. This emotion also forms humility where you become aware that you are not perfect, that you are sometimes wrong and that's humane.

From there, the courage to apologize, change, and improve yourself was born. With this attitude, you can respond to your shortcomings lightly, even smile and laugh in the midst of imperfections, keep yourself from excessive anxiety about your self-assessment.

Furthermore, 'be ashamed of being healthy' fosters social awareness. You become more sensitive to how your actions and speech affect others. Instead of being isolated, you become part of social order, maintain norms, respect others, and strengthen emotional ties in family, friends, or communities. And when many people adopt healthy shame, collectively, it is tantamount to building a more civilized, respectful, and human society.

Thus, shame, if cared for with understanding, affection, and awareness, transforms from a burden to a growing tool. He is not a signal that you are not worthy, but a reminder: that you are human, with the potential to continue learning, change, and improve. A healthy shame makes you able to live with integrity, empathy, and courage to show yourself, complete with all your shortcomings and advantages. So, don't rush to reject shame. Instead, hug him with understanding, because that's where you can find the strength and depth of meaning of life.