Knowing Bird Theory, Can It Be A Fundamental Parameter For Couples?
The trend on social media which has been busy lately has made many people finally get to know Bird Theory. Reporting from the Independent, this trend previously appeared in 2023, but is now back to viral.
The trend went viral again because of Layne Berthoud's upload, which was watched almost 5 million times in five days. After some time, this trend was tried by many other social media users, including actress Kelly Ripa.
Bird Theory is a test conducted to test how responsive your partner is to the small things that are shared. This test does look trivial but is considered to be a partner bond parameter over each other.
The way to do it is quite simple, namely by explaining a trivial matter to a partner; while in the viral test, it is a matter of seeing birds.
"I saw a bird this morning," said Kelly Ripa to her husband, Mark Consuelos, as reported by People. The husband who did not understand this test replied, "Oh yes? What kind of bird?"
Kelly Ripa was shocked while shouting happily, "Oh my God, he's looking at me!"
Even though it only looks like an exciting activity with a partner, basically Bird Theory is based on Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist from the United States.
Reporting from Psychology Today, John Gottman and Nan Silver from the University of Washington argue that couples keep their relationship strong as they respond to "tawaran" from each other to connect.
The statement was reiterated in the article Dr John Gottman and his wife, Julie Gottman, 2017 with the title "The Natural Principles of Love" published in the Journal of Family Theory & Review. The article summarizes more than forty years of research, data, and their clinical work.
From the results of his research, the research couple concluded that a happy couple welcomes their partner's efforts to connect with each other. The numbers are even said to reach hundreds every day. The questions that are asked are certainly not always about birds, but can be a few other small things.
The two of them collected data that a lasting couple in their marriage welcomed each other's "attend to connect" for 86 percent from time to time. Meanwhile, the couple, who ended up separated, only did it as much as 33 percent.
John and Julie Gottman explained the importance of efforts to stay connected, such as "emotional connections" built over time, and will become a buffer when a small annoyance and annoyance occurs.
What do other psychologists think about this test? A number of psychologists advise netizens not to make Bird Theory the only benchmark for the health of the relationship.
Mental health expert Vanessa Milagros explained that this experiment was indeed interesting, but it should not be used as a place to make a fuss with a partner.
"Because there are some times when someone misses a moment. We can't always focus, and the important thing is to see the overall pattern," he explained.
One of the things that is underlined is whether in a relationship you feel cared for. The same thing was also explained by Dr. Carrie Cole, Head of Research at the Gottman Institute.
"If anyone fails this test, I tell them people don't think of it as a sign that their relationship is coming to an end," explains Dr. Cole.
That's a review of the bird theory. Hopefully it will be useful! Visit VOI.id to get other interesting information.